It's a losing game we play
by Dallyforever101
Summary: I lost myself in a dream, a false reality I created around myself to block out what I didn't want to see. But dreams sometimes become nightmares, and no matter what I do, I can't wake up. And when it's all said and done, I find myself standing far from where I once was. Sequel to No Safe Place
1. Chapter 1: Home

A/N: So I decided I'd make a sequel to No Safe Place, and here is the first chapter. I hope everyone likes It!

_Home _by Daughtry  
XXX  
_I'm staring out into the night,  
Trying to hide the pain.  
I'm going to the place where love  
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain._

Well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
Well I'm going home.

_The miles are getting longer, it seems,  
The closer I get to you.  
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.  
But your love remains true.  
And I don't know why.  
You always seem to give me another try._

I cursed under my breath as the plane skidded down the runway towards the terminal gate. It'd been a rough plane ride, starting with a delay in take off from the city because of the snow falling. Then when it was safe for the plane to take off, we dealt with turbulence most of the way to Oklahoma.  
My legs felt slightly wobbly as I made my way down the plane isle towards the door. A gust of wind whipped through the crack where the plane connected to the terminal and I shivered. It wasn't like I _wasn't_ use to the cold, it was just that the plane had been so warm that I'd taken off my sweater and hadn't put it back on yet.  
I walked out of the terminal and into the airport, searching the crowd as I went. It was crowded and some older people gave me disapproving looks when I'd accidentally push into them to get through. I just shot them a glare and continued on my way to the airport doors.  
"Mia!" I turned my head to the sides until I saw a group of boys making their way through the crowd towards me. I smiled as they came up and engulfed me in a tight circle.  
"Hey guys!" I said with a smile and I hugged them all individually. "Gosh I've missed you guys a lot." I smiled as Soda took my only bag and carried it out the door.

"We've missed you too, Mia." He said as we walked outside. I shivered and grabbed my sweater from where I'd hung it over my bag, shoving my arms through the sleeves and zipping it up to my chin.  
"It's freezing." I said as we walked towards the parking lot. "Why couldn't I have come home when it was warmer?!" The boys chuckled as we walked towards their cars, and I was about to get into Darry's truck when a car pulled into the parking space beside us. I wouldn't have paid any attention to it if it wasn't for the model of the car and the person sitting in the driver's seat.  
I watched as Tim Shepard stepped out of his black 1963 Ford Galaxie 500, his sunglasses shading his eyes from the glare of the snow. He had his leather jacket zipped all the way up, and he had the collar flipped up to keep the cold off the back of his neck.  
He must have caught me starring because he smirked.  
"Welcome home, angel." He said as he walked around the car towards me. "Been awhile." I shook my head a bit and blinked so that I would stop starring. When I made sure I wasn't just seeing him, I smirked.  
"Yes it has." I said and was slightly surprised when he wrapped me up in a tight hug, but I quickly relaxed and hugged him back just as tight. "I didn't know you were going to be here." I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. It was kind of nice that we were all the way out in Oklahoma City, since no one knew who we were, Tim dropped his tough face a little and he was keeping a tight hold on me.  
"I thought I might surprise you." Tim said as he finally let me go. I smiled a little as I leaned back against the truck, then remembered that the other boys were standing out in the cold waiting.  
"Umm," I turned to Darry and then back to Tim. "Could I-" Tim nodded and opened the door for me to get in. I smiled as Soda stepped forward with my bag and handed it to me. "I'll see you guys later. Thanks for coming all the way out here guys." I slid into the passenger seat and pushed my bag into the back of the car. I waved at the boys as Tim walked around the car and got in. He turned the key and backed out of the parking space before turning the wheel towards the parking lot exit.  
It was awhile before either of us spoke, only once we'd gotten away from the air port and were starting towards the highway did I turn away from the window to look at him.  
"I'm hungry." I said. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.  
"Really?" He asked. "You couldn't have said that 3 minutes ago when we passed Dairy Queen?" I shrugged and smirked when he sighed and turned around to head back to the restaurant.  
"It's nice being home." I said, and he rolled his eyes, but I saw a smirk on his face.  
"It's great to have you home." He said with a sarcastic edge, but it sounded sincere enough.

XXX

We sat in a booth in the back of the Dairy Queen, eating burgers and fries. I was into my 2nd burger and halfway finished my own fries, as well as a third of Tim's.  
"Did they feed you at all in that place?" Tim asked as he shoved my hand away from his fries. I narrowed my eyes at him, but went back to eating my burger.  
"They fed us." I said when I finished chewing. "Not the best meals I've had in my life, but it was better then what I remembered it to be. Same with the sleeping area. It use to be about 14 girls shoved into a room full of bunk beds, now it's more like 6 girls in a room with bunk beds. It's far more comfortable, and you don't feel like you need to stay awake until you're sure everyone else is asleep before you fall asleep. There's actually room to move around too." Tim nodded and finished his burger and sipped at his coke.  
"Sounds half decent." He said. "What else happened?"  
"I got a lot of exercise." I said. "They improved the gym, and when the weather was nice, they'd put us out in the grounds for the better part of the day. I also saw a few girls that I use to be friends with." Tim looked surprised and I rolled my eyes. "I did have some friends that were girls." He smirked as he finished his coke and tossed some money from his wallet down onto the table.  
"That surprises me." He said as we walked back out into the cold. I shivered as I jumped into the car and rubbed my hands together to warm them up. "I didn't think any girl could keep up with you." I smirked as we started down the road, back towards the highway.  
"Very few could." I said. "Most were too wimpy, and wore high heels which were useless when it came to getting into trouble. You can't move fast enough to get away from the cops when they start chasing you." Tim smirked and reached over to wrap his warm hand around mine. I found it strange to have him showing so much affection, but my hand was so cold that I just smiled and leaned back in the seat. I closed my eyes and relaxed as Tim drove down the highway towards home.

XXX

It was almost an hour drive from Oklahoma City to Tulsa, I slept the whole way, and I opened my eyes only when Tim stopped the car outside Buck's.  
"Wake up sleeping beauty." Tim said as he shut off the car. "Time to go sleep on your own bed." I smiled as we got out and walked towards the door. When I opened it, it was too quiet for the time of day it was, or closer to night.  
"Why is it so quiet?" I asked as I rubbed my arms and brushed the snow from my hair. It had started to snow at some point while I slept, and it was coming down hard.  
"Buck actually made enough money to move the bar out of the house." Tim said as we walked into the kitchen. "He bought a little place in town, it's a pretty popular spot." I was surprised that Buck would actually move the bar out of the house. I'd always thought that he would leave it here no matter what.  
"What else have I missed?" I asked as I started up the stairs with my bag. "I guess more happened in 6 months then I thought." Tim was right behind me as I entered my room and tossed my bag onto the floor before I collapsed on the bed.  
"Ma left the old man." I looked up at him in surprise.  
"Really?" I asked, and he nodded as he came over and sat down at the end of the bed. I laid back down and closed my eyes for a moment.  
Tim's family was what you'd call dysfunctional, but it was rare to _not_ find a large group of dysfunctional families around here. But even then, not many split up, because most of the time, the families were living in the situation they'd grown up in and didn't know any different. For Tim's mom to leave would have been big news whenever it happened.  
"What happened with Curly and Angela?" I asked as I opened my eyes and rolled onto my side so that I was facing Tim. He was lying on the bed at an angle, his head resting against the wall above my head.  
"They come and go as they please, but they mostly stay with Ma. She's staying with her sister a little ways across town." I nodded as I shifted around so that my head was resting beside Tim's side and propped my feet up on the wall above the head of the bed.  
"What about you? Where are you staying?"  
"At the house. The old man hasn't really been around much since Ma left, so the house is basically mine." I smirked and starred at the ceiling until my eyelids started to drop down, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep.  
"Wanna go to a party?" Tim's voice cut through the fog that was starting to cloud over my brain, jolting me awake.  
"Where?" I asked.  
"Steven's parents are out of town for a few days because his great grandmother or something like that died out in Miami. He's got the house to himself and was planning to throw a party tonight. Wanna go?" I nodded and sat up.  
"I'll just change into something else." I said. The clothes I was wearing were the same clothes I'd worn when I left Tulsa for New York. They hadn't gotten a good wash since the washing machines at the centre were crap.  
"I'll meet you out in the car." Tim said and walked out the door. I shifted through the clothes in my dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. I quickly changed into them before I jogged down the stairs, and over to the closet. I pulled out the leather jacket that I'd put a wool lined sweater into so it worked as a winter coat, and put it on before I got down on my hands and knees to reach into the back of the closet for my boots. I found one, but had to half crawl into the closet before I was able to locate the other. I stuffed my feet into them and walked out the door.  
It was snowing hard as I walked quickly to the passenger side of the car and hopped in.  
"It's cold." I said as Tim backed out of the driveway and turned onto the road. I held my hands out in front of the heater to warm them.  
"Stop complaining." Tim said as he turned down another road. I glared at him, but didn't say another word as I watched the snow fall down around the car, and noticed the cars lined up along the roadside. I could hear a beat coming from up the street as Tim pulled off the road and we stepped out.  
"Steven's house is a few houses up." Tim said as he came around the side of the car. I tightened my jacket around me and let Tim wrap his arm around my waist as we walked up the street.  
"We could have parked closer." I said as we passed by a spot on the street that Tim's car would have fit into.  
"A little walking won't kill you." Tim said as we started up the yard to the house that was clearly having a party.  
"I've been in jail for 6 months." I reminded him. "I've had plenty of exercise. I lost almost 20 pounds! The walk might not kill me, but the cold sure will." Tim rolled his eyes as we walked into the house.  
I was hit with the strong smell of sweat and beer, and a wave of music blasted into my face as I shrugged off my jacket. I tossed it onto the floor beside the door. Coats were already littering the rest of the entrance area, but none by the door. I just hoped that no one would grab it.  
"Tim!" I turned my head and watched as a guy stumbled through the crowd towards us. "Glad to see you could make it!" He yelled over the music. Tim shrugged, the cool expression I was used to covered his face like a mask.  
"Figured we'd stop by for a bit." Tim yelled back over the beat of Elvis pounding through the speak system I could see in the living room.  
"Come have a drink." The guy turned and started to shove his way through the crowd. Tim looked at me and motioned for me to go first.  
I started to move through the crowd behind the guy.  
"Who is he?" I asked Tim over my shoulder. I didn't recognize the guy, but I assumed it was someone in Tim's gang.  
"Steven." He said as we got through the living room. The kitchen had a swinging door, and the sound of the music didn't seem as loud once the door was closed.  
There were only a few people standing around in the kitchen when we walked in, and they slowly moved back out into the living room.  
"So, you must be Mia." Steven said as he reached into the fridge for a couple of beers.  
"That's me." I said as I accepted the beer. I hadn't had a drink for months, and I found it burned more then it use to.  
"Glad to see you made it out of there." He said. His words were mixing together, and I sensed that he had been doing a lot of drinking.  
"There isn't much I can't handle." I said as I took another drink. Steven grinned wide, making it obvious that he was drunk out of his mind.  
"Probably a good thing if you're dating Shepard." He snickered before heading back for the kitchen door. "Enjoy the party guys!" He called over his shoulder as the door swung shut, leaving us in the quiet.  
Dally and I used to go to parties all the time. In New York, we were at some wild parties that wouldn't have ended had the cops not showed up. I could feel adrenaline starting to pump through me as I quickly finished off my first beer and turned to Tim.  
"Let's go dance." I said. Tim raised an eyebrow before he finished off his beer.  
"OK." He said and we left the kitchen, and were immediately drowned in music and people.

The hours passed by in a blur of drinks, music and dancing. I could barely see what was in front of me as I walked around the house. A few people I didn't recognize said hi, and I just waved and kept going.  
At some early hour in the morning, cops showed up to break up the party. Tim dragged me out of the house, leaving me just enough time to throw on my jacket.  
I don't know how we got there, but we arrived at Tim's place, just as the sun was starting to show above the treetops. It had stopped snowing, and everything was covered in a layer of white.  
"So pretty." I said as I stumbled up the steps to the house. I almost puked as we walked through the door, but I just fell to the floor instead.  
The rest of the walk up the stairs, and whatever happened after that was blurry, and hard to remember. All I can remember is eventually falling asleep next to Tim in his bed, and thinking that I was going to have a pounding headache in the morning.__

Oh, well I'm going home,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old.  
I said these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
I'm going home.  
XXX

So there is the first chapter of it's a losing game we play, and I hope everyone liked it enough to continue reading. I'm going to try really hard to stay on top of it and update as regularly as possible. Though I won't be able to update until late next week because I'm gone… again. :p

I'd love to come home to some reviews!

~Stay Gold!


	2. Chapter 2: Surprise!

A/N: Here's chapter 2!

_Anything but ordinary_ by Avril Lavigne

XXX

_Sometimes I get so weird  
I even freak myself out  
I laugh myself to sleep  
It's my lullaby  
Sometimes I drive so fast  
Just to feel the danger  
I wanna scream  
It makes me feel alive  
Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please_

I groaned as bright lights hit the back of my eyelids, causing sparks of pain to shot up through my brain, and then sent the pain all through my body. I rolled away from the light, and pulled the blanket that was over top of me up over my head to block out the light. I sighed as the pain edged away once I was surrounded in darkness, and I let myself relax, hoping for a few more minutes of sleep.

I woke up again to more light, and this time, there was no way of escaping it. So I slowly opened my eyes, only to squeeze them shut again to block out the light.  
When I felt like I could take the light, I slowly opened them again. It wasn't as bad, and I looked towards the nightstand for the clock. My eyes opened wide and I shot up in bed, only to fall back down again with a groan when my head pounded in protest. This wasn't my room, nor was it a jail cell.  
As I tried to figure out where I was, bits and pieces of the night before came back to me in the form of fuzzy images. I remembered stumbling up the front steps to Tim's place, and then falling asleep.  
I smiled to myself as I curled back up in the blanket, and relaxed my head against the pillow. I turned my head to look at the clock that was beside the bed, and once the red numbers stopped dancing in front of my eyes, I read 2:25 pm. I sighed, realizing I'd slept most of the day away. I slowly sat up in bed and looked around. The room was a mess of clothes, bottles of empty beer, and old car magazines. I rubbed my hands over my eyes, trying to get everything to focus a little more clearly when I saw the glass of water and pill on the table beside the clock. I smile a little as it picked them both up and swallowed them. I hoped it would stop my pounding head soon, because it was driving me crazy. When I stood up, I realized I was wearing a shirt that certainly wasn't mine. It hung down almost to my knees and the sleeves went to my elbows. Clearly it was one of Tim's shirts, and for a moment wondered how I'd gotten into it. But remembered mumbling something about having nothing to wear for bed. Tim must have tossed me the shirt and I somehow got myself changed into it. I smiled and made my way to the bathroom that was right across the hall.  
After I'd splashed water onto my face, and rubbed at my eyes a bit, I walked back to Tim's room to get dress.  
For the first time, I noticed the empty bed. I hadn't really paid attention when I first woke up, being more focused on the headache I felt. But now I saw that the bed was empty, and probably had been for awhile. I didn't really care though. I hadn't been expecting him to be there when I woke up; truly, I was surprised that he'd left me the pill and water for my head.  
I started to pick up my clothes from the pile on the floor, when I heard a car honk outside. I stopped for a second when it sounded like it was coming from right below the window.  
I walked over, and spotted a red truck sitting outside in the driveway. I figured it was one of Tim's friends, but then Tim stepped out of the driver's door. He looked up at the window, and smirked when he spotted me. He motioned for me to come down, and without another thought, I turned from the window and made my way down the stairs to the front door. I remembered to grab my jacket and pull on my boots before I scrambled out the door onto the front step.  
The step went right across the front of the house, and I walked over to the side closest to the driveway.  
"Where's your car?" I asked as I stood there. My legs were bare, and I could already feel them starting to get cold.  
"Wherever we parked it last night." Tim said as he came around to the truck to stand below me on the ground by the deck. He was just tall enough to lean against the railing that surrounded the deck, and he looked up at me with a sly look on his face.  
"You like it?" He asked, and I gave the truck a once over. It was a nice shade of red, though it appeared to be rusting in a few places. I wasn't a big car freak, so I couldn't place the model or make. But it seemed like it was in god shape, and would still run fine.  
"It's cool." I said as I rubbed at my arms to take the chill out of them. "But why buy a truck when you have a car?" Tim smirked as he walked around to the steps and came to stand beside me.  
"The truck isn't for me." He said, and I raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Then who's it for?"  
"You." I starred up at him in confusion for a moment before my brain caught on to what he had said.  
"For me?" I asked, and he nodded. I stood for a moment with my mouth opened before I clasped my hands together over my mouth. "Are you kidding me? Really?" He nodded again and I threw my arms around his neck. He chuckled as I hugged him tightly.  
"I'll take it you're happy about it." He said and I nodded as I pulled back.  
"Absolutely." I said. Ever since I was a little girl, the thought of owning a truck always made me smile. I slid around Tim and ran for the truck, jumping off the steps.  
"Shouldn't you get dressed first?" Tim called from the deck. I stopped and looked down at what I was wearing.  
"Probably." I said as I turned back and made my way back up the steps. "Just give me a minute." I was up the stairs and into the room to get dressed surprisingly fast for still having a headache. I cruised back down the stairs once I'd finished and out the door again.  
"Let's go for a drive." I said. "Hand over the keys." Tim smirked.  
"They're in the truck already." He said and we walked to the truck. I hopped into the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition before backing out of the driveway. "We should go get food." I said as I shifted the truck into drive and started down the road. The road was cleared a bit, but there was still a lot of snow on the ground. "I'm hungry." Tim chuckled and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.  
"OK, we can go eat." I smirked as I turned towards the Dingo.  
"I wasn't asking permission." I said. "My truck, my rules. I get to decide where we go now." Tim rolled his eyes as he lit the end of the cigarette.  
"You're welcome." He said sarcastically. I smiled as we pulled into the Dingo.  
"Though I must ask." I said as I parked and we got out. "How did you get the money for this? No offense, but we haven't been dating long enough for it to be normal to be getting each other expensive gifts." We walked in and were greeted with a wave of warm air. I shrugged out of my jacket as we slid into a booth.  
"The gang's been doing some rodeos lately." I raised an eyebrow at him.  
"In the winter?"  
"Indoor arenas." I nodded and order a coke when a girl walked over. "Anyway. David and Ryan have been doing well. We've been splitting the money around. Plus I know the guy I got the truck from, so he gave me a good deal on it." I nodded and sipped at my drink when the girl set it down in front of me.  
"Sweet." I said. "I'll have to come watch sometime." Tim nodded as we order, then we sat silently.  
"How'd you come up with the money to pay for that plane ticket?" Tim asked after a moment.  
"I got a letter a few days before I got out." I said. "It had the plane ticket in it, and gave the information. It wasn't signed, so I don't know who's it's from, but I have an idea who it's from." Tim nodded and we went back to sitting in silence until our food came.  
After we finished eating, we walked back out to the truck.  
"I think I'll go spend the day with the guys." I said. It was Saturday, so I assumed they'd all be over at the Curtis' house.  
"OK, I got stuff to do anyway." Tim said as we turned the corner to his street. I pulled up along the sidewalk and parked the truck. "I'm sure I'll see you later." I smirked.  
"Probably. Though I do need to run by Buck's. I need to shower and unpack and get settled again." Tim nodded as he opened the door and got out.  
"See ya later." He said as he walked around the truck and up the front steps. I turned the truck around and headed for the Curtis' place.  
When I pulled up, the boys were outside throwing snow at each other.  
"Having fun?" I asked as I stepped out of the truck and over to the fence. I narrowly missed the snowball that came flying at my head. "Watch it, Two-Bit." I said as I walked through the gate and headed for the steps.  
"Look who decided to show up." Two-Bit said as he threw another snowball at me. I ducked out of the way and picked up snow to throw back at him. I hit him in the shoulder, and he stuck his tongue out at me. I smirked and walked into the house.  
Darry was sitting in his chair, reading the paper, and he looked up as I stood in the doorway taking off my cost and boots.  
"Hey, where were you last night?" He asked as he folded up the paper and set it down.  
"Tim and I ate before we left Oklahoma City." I said as I sat down on the couch. "Then we went by Buck's so I could drop my stuff off, then we ended up at a party for the rest of the night. Some Steven guy in his gang. His parents were out of town for something."  
"Yea, I guess that party went til 5 or 6 in the morning. The police broke it up." I nodded, though I hadn't realized how late the party had gone to, or early in this case.  
"Yea, we were there until the police showed." I said as I rested back against the couch. The door opened, and with it came a flood of voices as the boys came inside.  
"Nice truck." Steve said as he brushed snow out of his hair. "Where'd you get it?" I bit my lip, stalling for an answer. I knew they were going to poke and tease at the fact that the truck was from Tim. Unfortunately I didn't have a better response other then the truth.  
"Tim gave it to me this morning." I said and pretended to be more interested in the ceiling.  
After it was quiet for a moment, I looked up at them to see that they were all starring at me. Then Two-Bit started to snicker, before he burst out laughing.  
"Tim Shepard bought you a truck?" He asked between gasping for breath. I nodded my head as they all started to snicker.  
"I don't see what's so funny." I said as I stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "Anyone want hot chocolate?" They all called out and I walked around the kitchen gathering the things I needed to make the hot chocolate.  
"So Tim Shepard bought you a truck." I rolled my eyes as Soda came into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while I put water into a pot and put it on the stove.  
"Yes, Soda." I said as I pulled mugs down from the cupboard and took the container of hot chocolate down from beside the stove. "He bought me a truck."  
"Must be getting serious." I gave him a look that clearly said that I thought he was joking. "Well why else would he buy you a truck? Did Dally ever randomly buy you a truck?"  
"No, but-"  
"But nothing." Soda interrupted. "Dally never bought you gifts, at least not on a random occasion. I think he's trying to get on your good side." I rolled my eyes as the water started to steam.  
"It's a sad day when a girl's boyfriend is questioned for every move he makes." Soda smiled and put an arm around my shoulders.  
"Yes, but this boyfriend of yours is notorious for playing the field, if you know what I'm saying." I laughed and shrugged off his arm so I could deal with the hot chocolate.  
"Yea well, nothing I can't deal with, if you know what I'm saying." I gave him a look. "Listen Soda. I dealt with Dally 'playing the field' for years. As his girlfriend, and as just his friend. I can hand myself just find alright." Soda gave me a look and hopped up on the counter top.

"But it was different with Dally." He said. "You grew up with him, you knew him practically inside and out. People think Tim and Dally at one and the same, Mia. But they ain't; Tim is worse off then Dally was. He lies, cheats, steals, messes around."

"Sounds exactly like Dally to me, Sodapop." I interrupted him and he rolled his eyes.

"But you're not hearing me out." He said. "OK, remember that time Dally bought you all that chocolate, and the flowers, and that pair of earrings you'd been wanting for so long?" I nodded, though I didn't like remembering it. "Remember why? Cause he was sneaking off with some other girl, and going to the rodeo, even though he wasn't supposed to." I turned away from him for a minute. I remembered that month clearly. It was right after Dally's rodeo accident that had everyone thinking he would never be able to get back on a horse again. I'd never been so scared in my life, and when the doctor said that he would be fine, though he needed to lay low for a little while, I was nervous for the time to come when he would be fine to get back on a horse. Then I found out he wasn't only sneaking off to go to the rodeo, but I found out he was going with some girl. The two things separately wouldn't have bothered me as much as they had together.

"Don't you find it a little suspicious?" Soda asked, breaking me away from my thoughts. With a sigh I ran my hand back through my hair and turned the stove down.

"Course I find it suspicious." I finally said. "And I plan to keep an eye n him for a little while to see if anything is up." Soda slid off the counter and wrapped me in a one armed hug.

"OK." He said. "We're here if you need us. Always." I gave him a smile as I poured the water into the chocolate powder that I'd measured out into the cups.  
"I know you are. Get me the milk will ya?" Soda walked to the fridge and pulled out the chocolate milk. I shook my head, but accepted it anyway. I didn't normally make hot chocolate with chocolate milk, but I figured it couldn't hurt.  
"Just like ma used to make it." Soda said as he took a cup. I smiled as I finished and put the milk back in the fridge.  
"She's the one who taught me how to make it." I said before calling for the rest of the boys. "She always said 'the way to a guys heart in the middle of winter, is with a big cup of hot chocolate.'" The guys- who'd just walked in- laughed.  
"Ma did say stuff like that a lot." Darry said as he sat down at the table. I nodded and we all fell quiet before I set my cup down.  
"Who's up for a poker game?" I asked, and half the boys agreed. So we pulled out the poker table and sat around, enjoying a day of nothing to do.

It was supper time before we finished playing, with me winning half the games. I smiled as I counted out my money.  
"You clearly cheated." Steve grumbled. I smirked as I stuff the money into the pocket of my jeans.  
"Yup, cheated you all out of all your money." I smiled as I stood up. "I'm hungry, anyone want some Mac and cheese." There was a round of agreement, and once again I went about the kitchen getting ready to make supper. The boys all drifted into the living room; except for Darry who stayed behind to help me make the food.  
"It's nice having you around again, Mia." He said as he started grating the cheese. I smiled as I pulled out a pot and poured water into it.  
"It's nice to be back home again." I said. "Though I must say, being back in the city brought back some memories. Though not all good ones, but it was nice to see some of the girls again. Even if we were in jail cells." I laughed a little before I got quiet. "I'm tired of running." I said. "I can't do this anymore. I figure, my record is long enough as it is. I'm not into all that anymore. Being back there, and seeing people again, it reminded me of how much I wanted to get out, so that I wouldn't have to do all that anymore." I sighed as I measured out the pasta. "I'm done with jail. 6 months in a youth detention centre was long enough for me, I don't need anymore jail time." Darry smiled as he cut a piece of cheese and handed it to me. I grinned and took it, munching on it while I waited for the water to start boiling.  
"Glad to hear you say that." Darry said. "We were all kind of afraid that you'd..." He stopped for a moment, and I knew what he was going to say. "That you'd end up like Dallas." I shook my head.  
"No thanks." I said. "Dally meant a lot to me, but just because he jumped off the bridge, doesn't mean I'm going to follow him down." Darry chuckled and finished grating the cheese before he went to the living room to hang out with the guys. I stood in the kitchen and waited for the water to boil before I put the pasta in. I stirred it around a little before setting a timer for it to be finished. I sat down at the table, and pulled out the key to the truck. It had an old leather keychain attached to it. I looked at it and saw old writing on one side, but I couldn't read what it said. I sighed and set it down on the table in front of me, and I starred at it. Soda's words skimmed through my mind, but I pushed them away. The thought of the truck being a symbol of our relationship getting serious, or being a cover-up for something, was a bit out there. At least I thought it was. Sure, originally I thought that this was just going to be a short fling, but that didn't mean it was going to get serious. And sure it was similar to what Dally had done to cover his tracks for the rodeo, didn't mean Tim was trying to pull the same stunt. Though they weren't the same in many ways, Tim and Dally were still close to the same person; starting with their ability to commit. They both had commitment issues, and struggled to stick to one thing. I wasn't expecting anything out of this relationship, nothing that wasn't normal for a relationship around here anyway. Plus nearly everyone had heard about what Dally did, I didn't think Tim was stupid enough to try the same thing.  
Just then the timer went off and I got up to drain the water into the sink before I started adding the cheese.  
"Ready!" I called when it was done. The boys all piled into the kitchen and I dished out the food. We sat down at the table to eat and talk.

After supper, Darry and Soda did the dishes while the rest of us moved into the living room. But I stopped in the doorway.  
"You know what." I said. "I gotta go. I haven't even unpacked yet." I walked to the door and started to put my stuff on. "I'll see you guys later." I called as I opened the door and walked out. I heard shouts of goodbye before the door slammed shut and I walked down the steps to the truck parked at the edge of the curb.  
I smiled as I slid into the driver's seat and I put the key into the ignition. It started and I pulled off the curb and turned towards Buck's. When I got there, I pulled the truck up along the side of the house before shutting it off. I hopped out and made my way to the front door. I was standing by the closet, starting to take off my boot when I heard a voice coming from farther in the house.  
"Well look who's home." I jumped slightly when Buck walked out of the kitchen. I put a hand over my heart and waited for it to stop racing.  
"Must you do that?!" I asked as I kicked off my boots and unzipped my coat. "I just got here, and I'd rather not die of fright." He chuckled and I smiled as he came over and wrapped me up in a hug. I hugged him back tightly before he let me go.  
"It's nice to see you, finally." I gave him a guilty smile.  
"I was at a party last night with Tim." I explained as we walked over to the couch and sat down. "I ended up sleeping over at his house and then I went to spend the rest of the day with the boys. Though it wasn't very long, I only woke up a little after 2 this afternoon." Buck nodded as he walked back into the kitchen.  
"You want a drink?" He called.  
"Water please." I called back as I curled up on the couch and looked out the window behind me. Snow had started to fall down as I had gotten out of the truck, and it was starting to fall harder now.  
I smiled at Buck as he handed me a glass of water, and sat down at the other end of the couch.  
"So whose truck is that that you pulled up in?" I rolled my eyes, knowing I was going to get the same response as the other boys.  
"Tim gave it to me this morning." I said, and then realized my mistake. "This afternoon, I mean." Buck raised his eyebrow at me.  
"He just gave you a truck? For no reason?" I shrugged, thinking about what Soda had said, but not wanting to get back into it that deep.  
"Welcome home gift?" I suggested. Buck smirked and drank some of the beer in the bottle he'd gotten from the kitchen when he went for my water.  
"I bet." He said and I sighed.  
"You don't think that do you?"  
"Nope."  
"Neither does anyone else." I smiled as I starred down into my water glass. "They all think he's trying to make our relationship more serious." I left it at that, and Buck laughed.  
"I highly doubt that." He said as he set his beer bottle down on the coffee table. "Tim Shepard isn't the kind of guy to get into a serious relationship; he's the kind of guy that _runs out_ of a serious relationship." I nodded and finished off my water and set it on the table before I rested my arms on the back of the couch. I leaned my head on my arms and looked over at him.

"So I heard that you started the bar up in town." I said and Buck nodded.  
"Yup, it's busier there, so the business is better." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I could really use some help over there. Interested?" I smiled and nodded.  
"Yea." I said. "I was going to go out looking for a job in a few days anyway, once I was settled in again." Buck nodded and stood up, grabbing my glass on his way.  
"More water?" He asked as he walked back to the kitchen.  
"Yes please." I said and ran a hand back through my hair. I scrunched up my nose when I felt how greasy it was. "Urgh, I need a shower." I could hear Buck laughing from the kitchen.  
"You were always a very clean girl for hanging around with a bunch of boys." He said, and it was my turn to laugh.  
"Yea, well most of the time I didn't go rolling in the mud with them." I said as I accepted the glass of water again. "I avoided getting tackled when we played football, and when they went mud sliding on the back hill, I was the one to push them down. Though I normally ended up in the mud anyway." Buck chuckled and shook his head.  
"You were always one of the boys." He said, and I smiled. "And you were in jail with all the boys too." I laughed and set down my glass of water on the table.  
"Yea well, that's over." I said. "My jail days are over, anyway. I've had enough of being in and out of that place." Buck smirked.  
"Glad to hear it. Do you know how many nights I lost sleep cause you were in jail?" I smirked as I started to head up the stairs to get ready for a shower.  
"I'll guess about 10 minutes worth." I called down the stairs, and I could hear him laughing as I closed my bedroom door. 

_To walk within the lines  
Would make my life so boring  
I want to know that I  
Have been to the extreme  
So knock me off my feet  
Come on now give it to me  
Anything to make me feel alive  
Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please._

XXX

Reviews please! I'm going away… again. -_- So I won't be posting anything for awhile. Then school starts and regular posting goes down the drain. :p Gotta love it.

~Stay Gold


	3. Chapter 3: All good

_Hella good_ by No Doubt

XXX

_The waves keep on crashing on me for some reason  
But your love keeps on coming like a thunderbolt  
Come here a little closer  
'Cause I wanna see you, baby, real close up  
(Get over here)  
You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing  
A performance deserving of standing ovations  
And who would have thought it'd be the two of us  
So don't wake me if I'm dreaming  
'Cause I'm in the mood come on and give it up_

Life was good. Buck had me working every other day to get the books back up to date, I was over with the boys most of the time on my free days for supper and on the days that I worked, Tim would take me out to supper at the Dingo, or Dairy Queen. I felt like things couldn't get any better then they already were, like I was living the high life.  
Christmas was coming, and I was planning to cook the guys a dinner on Christmas, and then hang out with Tim after Christmas.

I sighed as I kicked off my shoes at Buck's and walked up the stairs to my room. I'd been up since 5 this morning because Buck had thought it'd be a good idea to clean the whole bar area before opening for the afternoon. My feet were sore, and I was dead tired.  
Just as I was about to crawl under the blanket on my bed, I heard the front door open and Tim call up the stairs.  
"In here." I called back. I flopped down onto the bed and dropped my head onto my pillow, closing my eyes.  
"Whoa, you look pretty worn out there, Mia." I heard Tim say. The squeak of the floor borders told me that he was walking across the room, and I felt the bed dip down when he sat beside me. "Work wear you out that much?" I shook my head and opened my eyes.  
"Not normally." I said. "But Buck thought it'd be a good idea to go clean the bar at 5 in the morning, so I've been over there cleaning all day, and I'm so tired." I closed my eyes again and let my body relax against the mattress. I grimaced as all the tense muscles in my body let go, and I felt pain shoot up and down my back.  
"I'll take it that you're not hungry right now then." Tim said, and I shook my head. "Think you'll be up for a late night meal then?" I opened my eyes to look at him.  
"What place is going to be open that late?" I asked.  
"The Dingo has a new time schedule." Tim said. "Thursdays and Fridays they're open all night." I raised an eyebrow at this new piece of information. I'd been home nearly 3 weeks, and yet no one had told me of this.  
"OK then." I said. "Let me sleep for a few hours and then we can go eat." Tim nodded and stood up.  
"I'll be back around 11:30." He said. "I have to be somewhere for a bit before we go out, so I'll see you later." I nodded and pulled the blanket up to my chin and fell asleep the minute I heard the door close downstairs.

I woke to the sound of loud voices coming from downstairs, and groaned. I still felt tired, but when I looked at the clock, I saw that it was almost 11:20. I needed to clean up before I went out with Tim, and I probably wouldn't be able to go back to sleep with the noise anyway.  
I got up and pulled out clothes from my dresser before going to the bathroom. I quickly cleaned up and grabbed my purse from my room before I made my way down the stairs.  
I saw Buck and a few other guys laughing and drinking around a poker table, though they didn't look like they were playing poker anymore.  
"Hey, Mia." Buck slurred at me. I raised an eyebrow at him as I stood by the couch.  
"Hey." I said. "What are you doing?" Buck looked around at the guys sitting around the table.  
"These are some friends of mine." He said. "We get together every month." I nodded and looked out the window when I saw a set of headlights shine through the thin curtain. "Where're you goin'?" I walked to the door and pulled on my boots and coat.  
"Tim's taking me out." I said. "And don't expect me back if this is going to go on all night." Buck chuckled.  
"All night." He nodded his head sloppily and I rolled my eyes.  
"See you tomorrow then." I said before walking out the door. I could hear the group of them laughing as I walked over to Tim's car and slid into the passenger seat.  
"What is going on in there?" Tim asked as we pulled out of the yard.  
"Buck has some friends over." I said. "They're all drunk and loud. I can't go back in there and expect to sleep." Tim chuckled as we turned towards the Dingo.  
"I assume you'll be sleeping over then?" He asked as we pulled into the parking lot.  
"That'd be nice." I said as we got out. "I can see we're on the same page of needing sleep." Tim chuckled as we walked into the Dingo.  
"Sure." He said as we slid into a booth. "I was hungry, so I picked something up earlier." I nodded and rubbed at my eyes. "Still tired?" I nodded and ordered a water and Tim order a coke when a grumpy looking waitress walked over. I probably wouldn't be too happy either if I had to work a night shift in this place. It was crazy enough during the day; I'd hate to see what could happen at night.  
"Yea, and I'm not overly hungry." I said, and tried to stifle a yawn. "I think I'll just get a thing of fries, then I can go back to sleep." Tim chuckled as the waitress came back over with drinks. I ordered fries and we waited. My head nearly fell onto the table top as we waited. I didn't understand why I was so tired, not like the cleaning had been overly difficult. It was just a lot.  
"Listen, a guy I know has this cabin out on a lake a little ways out of town." Tim said when the food came. "He's going somewhere with his family for the holidays, and he said I could use the cabin if I wanted out of town for a bit. You know, get away from the old man and all that." I nodded and stuffed a few fries into my mouth once the girl set them down on the table. "So I was wondering if you wanted to go out there for Christmas." I nearly choked.  
"What? Really?" I asked after I'd gulped down some water. Tim shrugged and picked up some of the fries.  
"Sure, unless you got other plans." I nodded.  
"I was going to cook supper on Christmas for the guys." I said. "But a cabin in the woods sounds kind of nice." I bit my lip. "I could always make supper Boxing Day." I said, and smiled. "Sounds good. I'll go with you." Tim smirked like he'd known I'd say that.  
"Cool. We can go for 3-4 days and come back the morning after Christmas. It isn't more then an hour and a half outside of town. It won't take long to get there." I nodded and finished off the fries before pulling out my wallet. Tim gave me a look and I smirked.  
"You're always buying the food. I'll pay this time." Tim rolled his eyes as I dropped the money on the table and we left.  
"Of course." He said. "Of all the meals we've had, you choose to pay for the smallest of them all." I laughed and climbed into the passenger seat.  
"Duh." I said as he pulled out of the parking lot and we started towards his house. My eyes started to droop as we drove, and I was glad when we finally pulled into his driveway. I climbed out and walked up the steps.  
"I think the old man's in." Tim said as he came up behind me, and I froze with my hand hovering over the door handle. "He should be passed out if he is, we just can't wake him up." I nodded and slowly opened the door.  
I heard snoring coming from the living room as we entered the house and made our way towards the stairs. I tripped over something that was lying on the ground at the foot of the stairs, and started to go down, but Tim caught me around the waist.  
We stood there for a moment in complete silence until we were sure that his father wasn't going to wake up. We both let out a breath when he kept snoring.  
"S'OK." Tim said close to my ear. "Keep going." I nodded and carefully took the first step, and then the next. I felt Tim's arm around my waist as we made our way up the stairs to his room.  
When we got there, Tim closed the door behind him while I walked over to the bed, and collapsed.  
"That isn't going to work out, Mia." I heard Tim said as I spread myself out across the bed at an angle.  
"Might not work for you, but it works for me." I said as I pulled a pillow down to put under my head and tugged up the blanket from the bottom of the bed.  
"I don't think so." I felt myself being lifted from the bed, and I grabbed onto the edge to keep myself down. "Come on, move over." I shook my head and buried my face in the pillow as I continued to cling t0o the edge.  
"Leave me to sleep in peace." I said, and heard Tim sigh.  
"When I get back, you better've moved over." I heard him walk out of the room, and the door closed behind him. I moved my head to the side and opened my eyes. I saw the shirt that I'd worn the first night back lying on the bed beside me. I smiled and stood up to change into it.  
Once I was dressed, I crawled back into the bed and curled up, just as Tim walked back into the room.  
"Better." He said when he saw me lying on one side of the bed. I smiled and yawned, and fell asleep before he even sat down to take off his shoes.

XXX

Sunlight burned my eyes and I scrunched my face up to block it out. When it still burned at my eyelids, I rolled over and opened my eyes. The room as empty, except for the mess of stuff around. I slowly sat up and stretched my arms out over my head.  
I swung my legs off the bed and stood up, grabbed my clothes off the floor and walked across the hall to the bathroom. I quickly got dressed and splashed water over my face, then walked back into the room to toss the shirt onto the bed.  
I walked down the stairs, being careful as I got closer to the living room in case Tim's dad was still passed out on the couch. Thankfully, he wasn't there and I walked to the door where my boots and coat were thrown in a corner.  
"Where ya going?" I jolted a bit when I heard a voice coming from down the hall that I knew lead to the kitchen. I turned to see Tim standing in the doorway, a cup of coffee in his hand.  
"I thought you were gone." I said as I straightened up. Tim shook his head and motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen. I kicked off the boot I'd just put on and walked towards him.  
"I never leave without my morning coffee." I smirked and nodded when he pointed at the coffee pot.  
"I bet you're like you sister in the morning when she doesn't have coffee." Tim rolled his eyes and set the mug down in front of me.  
Angela without coffee was like a hungry bear searching for food; you'd better get out of the way if you didn't want to be ripped to shreds.  
"It runs in the family." Tim said as he sat down across from me at the table and we fell into a comfortable silence.  
Tim finished his coffee quickly and got back up to put it in the sink.  
"So what are your plans for the day?" He asked as I finished mine and stood up.  
"I don't know. I have some stuff to do at Buck's, and I was thinking of doing some Christmas shopping, since it's only 2 weeks away." I grinned, thinking of our planned cabin trip. "So where is this friend's cabin anyway?" Tim shrugged and headed out of the kitchen.  
"I'll have to ask him. He leaves in at the end of the week, but I think I'll be seeming him sometime today. I got some errands to run." I raised my eyebrow at him, a slight frown on my face.  
"You've been doing a lot of errand runs lately." I said as I pulled on my coat before putting on my boots.  
"Yea, besides the rodeo shows, we've been doing a few side jobs to earn cash. It makes for a lot of driving. But nothing to worry about." I smirked as he leaned over and kissed my cheek, and we walked out the door. "I guess I gotta drive you back to Buck's." I nodded and slid into the passenger seat.  
"Good guess, genius." I said as I rubbed my hands together. The car was freezing, and I didn't have any gloves.  
"Thanks, I know you're jealous of my brains." I gave him a look, and then nodded.  
"Absolutely. 'Cause you've gotta be the smartest guy in town." I said as he let the car warm up for a moment before backing out of the yard, and turned towards Buck's.

"I'll see you later." I said as I got out of the car.  
"Yup, talk to you later." Tim said before I slammed the car door closed and ran towards the door. I waved when he honked the horn before running into the house. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the warmth of the heater going and pulled off my jacket.  
The house was quiet, except for some strange sound coming from upstairs. Once I had my boots off, I climbed the stairs to see what was making the noise. I smirked and shook my head when I realized it was coming from Buck's room. I'd forgotten about his little party the night before.  
I walked into the room, to the sound of Buck snoring loudly, and over to the side of the bed. The clock read 7:15, so the bar would be opening soon.  
Though mostly used as a bar, Buck had hired a cook for simple meals like eggs and bacon in the morning, burgers and fries from lunchtime and on. So the bar normally opened around 7:30, except for today.  
"Buck get up." I said as I poked him in the side. "You gotta get to work, you're already gonna be late." He groaned and rolled over onto his other side.  
"You go for me, Mia." He said. "I don't feel so good." I rolled my eyes.  
"I can understand that." I said. "But you've been through this before; you used to get drunk on a regular basis back in the day. You can't pull that on me; plus it's my day off. I'm not going into work today."  
"I'll pay you overtime." Buck said as he turned his head towards me. I narrowed my eyes at him and thought.  
"And I want tomorrow off." I said and he nodded before groaning and dropping his head down onto his pillow.  
"Deal." He said, and with a sigh I walked back to the door.  
"I'll leave you an aspirin and a glass of water in the kitchen." I said as I closed the door. I heard a mumbled reply and walked towards the bathroom. I got an aspirin and walked down to the kitchen.  
"I guess I gotta change." I said to myself, and made my way back up to my room to change into cleaner clothes.  
Once I was dressed, I got ready and went back out the door to the truck. I was just about to get in when Two-Bit came walking by.  
"Hiya, Mia." He said as he came up beside me. "Where're you going?" I huffed and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket.  
"Into work." I said. "Buck had a small party last night and now has a serious hangover. He wants me to go into work for him today. He's paying me overtime and giving me tomorrow off, so I agreed." Two-Bit laughed and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.  
"Mind if I come with you?" He asked. "I was planning on going into town anyway." I shrugged and he walked around to the other side of the truck while I got in the drivers side.  
"Not a bad ride." Tow-Bit said as we pulled out of Buck's yard and headed into town. "I gotta figure out a way to get a new ride, mine is about ready to hit the dirt." I smirked as I stopped at a stop sign to let a car go by before turning.  
"It's called a job." I said.  
"Or in your case, a boyfriend." I rolled my eyes.  
"Are you guys ever going to let up on that?"  
"Nope. We're all just waiting for the engagement party now." He laughed and I shook my head.  
"You have all lost your minds. The chances of Tim proposing are one in a billion. Besides that, I'm not getting married at 18." I said as we pulled into the small parking lot in front of the bar.  
"Yea well, next thing you know, he'll be taking you somewhere special and buying you expensive jewellery." Two- Bit said as we got out and walked to the door. I turned the key and walked inside, flicking on the lights as I went.  
"Well as it turns out, he is taking my somewhere." I said as I walked into the back to turn the heat on. I walked back out to see Two-Bit starring at me. "Stop that. His friend is going away with his family and asked Tim if he wanted to use this cabin that his family owns. He asked me if I wanted to go out there for a few days." Two-Bit shook his head.  
"He does have his connections doesn't he?" He said as he sat down at one of the bar stools. "I'll take it you said yes then." I nodded as I started taking chairs down from the tables. "When are you going?"  
"A few days before Christmas, we'll be coming home the day after."  
"What about that supper you promised us?!" Two-Bit didn't sound happy, and I bit my lip.  
"I'll make a supper for you guys the day I get home." I said as I walked over to sit on a stool beside him. He still didn't look happy, and I left out a sigh. "Come on, Two! Don't be like that!" He huffed and slid off his stool.  
"Sorry, but this is just weird. Seeing you with someone who isn't Dally." I scuffed my foot across the floor. "I mean, Dally never did anything like this for you. He never went out and bought you a car, never took you away to some cabin in the middle of the woods for a few days, and we had to remind him constantly to pick you up from the jail. We didn't say a word to Tim, he just showed up." Two- Bit stopped to gaze at me for a moment. "Don't you find it just a bit strange? He was battling Dally for the position of toughest hood in town, and now he's treating you like a queen." I slid off the stool and walked over to the door when James knocked on the glass. James was the cook, and was pretty good for being 25. He was working hard to pay off his students loans. He was a smart kid, and I hoped that this wasn't where he was going to stay for the rest of his life.  
"Hey." He said as he walked in. "I came by earlier, but the place was locked up." I nodded.  
"Yea, Buck wasn't feeling good. He asked me to come in for the rest of the day. Go get the grill going before I turn the open sign on." James nodded and left the room to the kitchen.  
I turned back to Two-Bit who was leaning against the bar.  
"Dally treated me like a queen in his own way." I said as I walked back over. "He may not have taken me out to cabins, or bought me cars, or remember when to pick me up from the jail, but he treated me well." I stopped, not knowing how to continue, and for some reason it made me angry. I felt my face flush red, and I bit down on my tongue to keep the angry words in my mouth. But they slipped out anyway. "Why does everyone have to question and observe every step I'm taking?!" I snapped at him. Two-Bit took a surprised step back, and though I felt bad, I'd had enough of them watching over my shoulder. "I'm not Dallas, alright? I'm not planning some daring jump. I'm fine, I can take care of myself, and I don't need you guys starring over my shoulder!" I sighed and leaned against the counter; James poked his head out from the kitchen and said that he was ready. I turned back to Two-Bit, who looked slightly surprised at my outburst.  
"Listen; just don't say anything to the guys, alright? I'll be over tonight to tell everyone else." Two-Bit just nodded and walked out the door. I drew in a deep breath before I turned around to flick the on switch for the sign. I leaned against the counter and waited for someone to come in so I could focus on work, and not on the conversation that I needed to attend to later night.

XXX

I waved goodbye to James as he drove his rusty old car out of the parking lot, and back towards his house.  
I sighed as I flicked off the open sign and started to finish cleaning the bar counter. Just then, the door opened.  
"I'm sorry, we're-" I stopped when I looked up to see Tim leaning against the wall beside the door. "Hey, what are you doing here?" He walked over to sit on one of the stools.  
"I should ask you the same thing. I've heard you were working and I came by to ask why?" I smirked.  
"Buck _'wasn't well'_." I said. "So he offered to pay me overtime and gave me tomorrow off if I came in for the afternoon." I sighed as I dropped the rag I was using on the counter, and propped my head up on my fist with my elbow resting on the countertop. "I had a short confrontation with Two-Bit this morning." I started, and Tim raised an eyebrow at me. "He was upset that I wasn't going to be making Christmas dinner. I kind of snapped at him." Tim smirked.  
"Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll assume you're going to tell the rest of them tonight." I nodded and pushed myself up from the counter.  
"Yea, after I'm done here, I'm going to head over to take to them." Tim nodded and stood up.  
"OK, I'll see you later then." He leaned over the counter and kissed me before walking out the door. I smiled as I watched him walk away and finished cleaning up.

After I closed up, I walked to the truck and hopped in. I sat in the parking lot for a minute waiting for it to warm up a little before I backed out and turned for the Curtis' house. I arrived a few minutes later and walked in to the sound of laughter and music that was turned up to full volume.  
"Hello!" I called into the house as I shrugged out of my coat and kicked my boots off against the wall. I heard a collection of hellos and walked into the living room to see everyone sitting around. Soda and Steve were involved in a game of poker, with Two-Bit cracking jokes and trying to mess them up. Darry was sitting in his chair with the paper while Ponyboy sat on the couch with a book.  
"What a lively crowd." I said over the music. I took a seat beside Ponyboy on the couch and leaned back, closing my eyes. I still didn't know how I was going to tell them all that I was going out for Christmas, but I knew I had to get it over with soon.  
"So, Mia." I turned to Soda who was on the opposite side of the poker table facing me. He reached over and turned the dial for the stereo so that the room seemed strangely quiet. "Two-Bit said that you have something to tell us. What is it?" I narrowed my eyes at Two-Bit, and he pretended to be more interested in the pattern on the top of the table.  
"Yeah." I said slowly, not taking my eyes off Two-Bit for a minute before I looked around at all of them. I dropped my head to look down at my hands.. "I, um, won't be around to make Christmas dinner." The room went quiet, and I hesitated to look up from my hands to see what their expressions would be. When I did look up, they were all starring at me in shock. I cleared my throat, getting ready to explain. "Tim has this friend who has a cabin just outside of town; he offered to take me out for a few days. I'd be back the day after Christmas, and I'll make supper then." I added, and I waited for one of them to say something, and was already starting to form a response for an argument.  
"Hope you have fun." Steve said, he'd turned back to his cards and was focused on them. "Don't get lost in the woods." I raised my eyebrows at them. That was it? No argument? No nothing?  
"Thanks for the tip." I said, and stood back up. "I'm gonna go back to Buck's and get some sleep. I'll see you guys later." They all called out goodbye as I pulled on my coat and boots. I walked out the door and over to the truck in a slight daze. That had gone over far better then I'd expected.  
I shrugged and turned the key before pulling away from the curb, and headed back for Buck's. Maybe I was in some strange twilight zone, and this was all going to disappear at some point. I smiled to myself as I pulled into Buck's a few minutes later and cut the engine. I sure hoped this wasn't going to end anytime soon; I found things to be just fine as they were right now.

_You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing  
You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing  
Ooh yeah yeah  
Ooh yeah yeah  
You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing  
You've got me feeling hella good  
So let's just keep on dancing  
You hold me like you should  
So I'm gonna keep on dancing  
Keep on dancing  
Keep on dancing_

XXX

I know this isn't all that exciting, but this all needs to happen before anything interesting happens. The next few chapters are going to be kind of slow too, bur after that, it should pick up.

Reviews please! It'd be nice to have a few before I post the next chapter.

~Stay Gold!


	4. Chapter 4: Out in the woods

A/N: So now that school had started, I won't be posting as often as I'd like. But I'll try for at least once every week or two. I hopefully won't go for month until things get really busy.

Enjoy!

_On fire_ by Switchfoot

XXX

_They tell you where you need to go  
They tell you when you'll need to leave  
They tell you what you need to know  
They tell you who you need to be_

But everything inside you knows  
There's more than what you've heard  
There's so much more than empty conversations  
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire  
When He's near you  
You're on fire  
When He speaks  
You're on fire  
Burning at these mysteries

I propped my head up against my hand, while my elbow rested on the window ledge of the truck.  
"I think we're lost." I said.  
"We're not lost." Tim said from the driver's seat. I rolled my eyes and went back to watching the scenery fly by the window.  
It was 4 days before Christmas, and Tim had picked me up early in the afternoon so we could get on the road for the cabin. He had said that his friend had given him directions and the key. He had said that it was about an hour to an hour and a half to get there, and I was positive that we'd been driving for close to 2 and a half hours.  
"Why don't we stop at the next gas station and ask for directions?" I suggested.  
"We don't need to stop for directions, I have directions and I know where I'm going." Tim said as he turned down the next street.  
"Well, we can stop just to make sure." I said sitting up in my seat as I stretched my arms and legs as far as they could go in the small truck space.  
"I don't need directions."  
"What is it with guys and asking for directions?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Every guy I know has a thing about not asking for directions. Is there just something in your brains that makes asking for directions impossible?" Tim glared at me, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well stop at the next station anyway. I need to use the bathroom." Tim rolled his eyes, just as a gas station came into view.  
Tim pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine.  
"Make it quick." He said and I rolled my eyes at him as I jumped out and closed the door of the truck. I walked quickly towards the doors of the station and sighed in relief when warm air hit my face once I was inside.  
I walked quickly to the bathroom and once I was finished, walked out into the station. I was hungry, so I walked around looking for something to eat. I picked up a bag of chips for myself, as well as 2 cokes. I walked over to the cashier and set everything on the counter.  
"Is that everything?" He asked in a bored tone. He couldn't have been any older them me, and looked bored out of his mind. I would be too if I had to work in this deserted gas station almost in the middle of no where.  
"Yea." I said as I fished around for money in my wallet. I took a quick look out the window and saw that the truck was facing away from the window. "Actually." I said slowly as I handed over the money. "I need some help. Do you know the way to Silver Lake?" The boy handed back the change and rested his elbows on the counter top.  
"Yea, you go down this road and take the 3rd left. You drive about 4 km and you'll see another road on your right, follow that until you come to a fork in the road. Take the left and you'll come to the lake at the end of it."  
"Thanks." I said with a smile, and then noticed a rack of maps sitting on the counter beside me. "And I'll take one of these, actually." I picked up one that was specifically for the area we were in and handed over the money for it. "Thanks for your help." I said over my shoulder as I walked to the door.  
"No problem." I heard the boy say as the door closed behind me and I walked back to the truck.  
"Took you long enough." Tim said as I slid back into the passenger seat.  
"Sorry, I got hungry." I said and passed him one of the cokes. "I thought you might be thirsty." Tim took the coke and popped the top of it.  
"Thanks." He said and nodded at the map. "What's that for?" I unfolded the map and spread it out in front of me.  
"I figured if you didn't want to ask for directions, we could at least look at a map." I said. I pointed at a small dot on the map that represented a lake. "There's Silver Lake." I said and looked out at the street that was across from us. "And that's Buckskin road, so we must be here." I pointed to the spot on the map that was across from Buckskin road. "So we need to follow this road a little ways and then take a left." Tim nodded and turned the truck back on before backing out of the parking spot and then out of the parking lot. 

It was starting to get dark when we finally arrived at the cabin. It wasn't much to look at on the outside, but it wasn't too bad.  
The road down hadn't been ploughed in a while, so Tim had to shift around the gears to get us down the road. It'd been a rough ride, but we'd gotten down with little trouble.  
Tim unlocked the door and we stepped in, I was immediately engulfed in a wave of freezing cold air.  
"Holy crap!" I said as I tightened my jacket around myself. "It's colder out here then outside!" I heard Tim chuckle as he flicked a switch and a single light bulb lit up the small space. It wasn't much; just a tiny kitchen and dining room, a couch and a few chairs sat around a fireplace across from the door, and I walked around to the small hallway that was off to the right. There were 2 bedrooms and a bathroom at the very end of the hall.  
"Not bad." I said. "Extremely cold, but not bad." Tim smirked as he searched the kitchen for matches so he could start a fire. "I'm gonna start bringing the stuff in." I said and walked back outside.  
It didn't take me long to bring everything in, we'd packed light in case we needed to walk. Though I'd said that if we needed to walk in, we could just as easily turn around and go back home. I wasn't really one for the woods, and though I'd agreed to the trip, I hadn't been willing to walk in.  
"OK." I said as I closed the door behind me after I set down my suitcase on the floor. "That's everything." Tim was over by the fire, feeding it small amounts of wood while it licked up the paper he'd thrown on it.  
I took a seat on the couch across from the fire and wrapped myself in my jacket while I waited for the fire to pick up.  
It eventually did, and Tim set some logs of wood on it before coming to sit beside me.  
"I'm thinking that the couch is going to be the best place to sleep." He said. "The rooms are probably going to be ice cold. We should close the doors to the bedrooms so that we're not heating extra space." I nodded and dropped my head onto his shoulder. The drive had ended up taking much, _much_ longer then planned, and it had made me sleepy driving around for hours.  
"You should go get ready for bed." I heard Tim say, though he sounded far off in the distance. I felt myself nod my head, but didn't move. Before I knew it, I'd drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of a fire crackling close by, and I slowly rolled over onto my back and opened my eyes.  
For a moment, I was slightly disoriented about where I was, but then I remembered arriving at the cabin the night before and smiled. I stretched my arms up over my head and looked around. Tim was no wherein sight and I frowned as I sat up to check behind me in the kitchen. He wasn't there either. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes before I stood up and walked over to the fire to put another piece of wood on it.  
Just then, the door opened and Tim walked in with a load of wood in his arms.  
"Morning." He said as he dropped the wood down on the floor beside the fire, and stood up straight. "Have a good sleep?" I nodded and stretched my arms up above my head again, crossing them behind my head.  
"It was nice." I said. I felt my stomach growl and headed for the kitchen for something to eat.  
"I made coffee a little while ago, I don't know if it's still warm though." I walked over to the coffee pot and poured some into a mug that I found in a cupboard. I took a sip and smiled as I curled my fingers around the mug.  
"Perfect." I said as I leaned back against the counter. Tim smirked and took off his jacket before he walked over.  
"Good." He said, and reached around me for the pot so he could have another cup. "So what do you want to do today?" I shrugged as I pulled a bowl out of the cupboard and grabbed the cereal I'd bought before we came down. Tim had missed the one small detail about coming down here, food. We'd stopped by the store before leaving town so I could pick up enough food for the few days we were here.  
"I don't know." I said as I pulled the milk out of the little bar fridge that was set up beside the counter. "Maybe we could go for a walk? Is there anything in town to do?" I poured milk into the bowl and then dumped the cereal in. I found a spoon and dug into my breakfast. "What time is it anyway?" I said around a mouthful of food as I searched around for a clock, but couldn't find one.  
"It's almost 10." Tim said as he finished his coffee and put the mug in the sink. "I don't know about town though. I haven't been down here since I was a kid. Charlie had his 12th birthday down here during the summer." I nodded and finished off my cereal before putting the bowl in the sink. I picked up my coffee mug and took another sip.  
It was nice and peaceful, and I enjoyed the quiet as I finished off my coffee. It must have snowed a little over night, because when I looked out the window, the tire tracks had a thin layer of snow in them.  
"We actually need to go into town anyway." Tim said, breaking the silence. "I forgot to bring beer." I rolled my eyes.  
"Really?" I asked. "Is beer all you think about?" Tim smirked and took a step closer.  
"Not always." He said as he corner me against the counter. I smirked up at him and leaned up for a kiss. He smirked and leaned closer so that I was bending backwards against the counter.  
After a while, I batted him away and slipped out from under his arm.  
"Back off, buster." I said with a smirk. "Apparently we need beer, so let's go." Tim rolled his eyes and made his way over to the fireplace to push the logs around with the poker.  
"OK, we'll go once the fire has died down a bit. We can't go leaving it for any period of time." I nodded and walked over to my suitcase. I was still in my clothes from yesterday, and I wanted a clean pair clothes to go out in.  
I walked to the bathroom to freshen up and quickly changed into my clean clothes before walking back out into the main part of the cabin.  
Tim was sitting in the chair beside the fire, and I took a seat on the couch after I grabbed the book I'd brought from my suitcase. The cabin fell silent as I curled up on the couch and opened my book.

A few hours later, Tim and I returned to the cabin after going into town. Tim had bought 2 cases of beer and I'd bought some more food.  
"So what are we supposed to do for the rest of the day?" I asked as I took the food out of the bags and put it on the counter or in the fridge.  
"I don't know." Tim said as he set the beer cases down on the floor by the fridge and walked over to the fire to start it up again. "You want a Christmas tree?" I raised my eyebrow at him, silently asking if he was joking. But when he waited for an answer, I smiled and nodded.  
"Sure, though I have nothing to decorate it with." I frowned and looked around the room to find inspiration. I smiled when I saw the popcorn box I'd bought, and started searching for string. I found some in a drawer by the sink. "Never mind." I said as I held it up. "Ever make a popcorn chain?" Tim shook his head as he stocked the fire up with wood and walked over.  
"Naw, decorating the tree was Angela's thing. Her and Ma used to do that." I nodded as I put the string on the counter and started looking for the scissors  
"Yea, I used to help my mom with the tree when I was really little, and back before dad got bad, he used to lift me up on his shoulders to put the star on the top if the tree."  
"Your dad wasn't always a drunk?" I shook my head.  
"No. But when I was 7, he lost his job at a local factory. After that was when he started to drink a lot and get violent." I shook my head of the memories crowding my mind, and turned to smile at Tim. "Let's go find a tree." He nodded and walked back over to the fire.  
"Just let me get the fire going a bit and we'll head out." I nodded and started to pop some of the popcorn so I could put it on the string to hang over the tree.

_Give me one more time around  
Give me one more chance to see  
Give me everything You are  
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)_

Cause everything inside me looks like  
Everything I hate  
You are the hope I have for change  
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire  
When You're near me  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
And I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries  
These mysteries...

XXX

I know it was dull, and short, but hang in there. I have a few chapters written in advance and I'm on the chapter before I'm going to start getting into the rest of the story. Very happy!

So with the Silver Lake and all that, I went to see if there was really a Silver Lake in Oklahoma and saw that there was. This lake has nothing to do with that one, just in case anyone is wondering if this story is geographically correct. :p

Reviews please!

~Stay Gold


	5. Chapter 5: Just the two of us

A/N: So I'm trying to post at a constant rate, and I know I've probably said that already, but here I am saying it again. :p I'm a couple chapters ahead, so if I fall behind a chapter or two, I'll still be able to post regularly.

Also, I know these chapters have been boring, but it's coming soon, I promise!

_Mirrors_ by Justin Timberlake

XXX

_Aren't you somethin' to admire?  
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror  
And I can't help but notice  
You reflect in this heart of mine  
If you ever feel alone and  
The glare makes me hard to find  
Just know that I'm always  
Parallel on the other side  
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul  
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go  
Just put your hand on the glass  
I'll be tryin' to pull you through  
You just gotta be strong_

It was Christmas Eve, and I was busy in the kitchen making supper while Tim lounged on the couch. We'd found a tree and set it up in the corner of the room, a little ways from the fire. I'd found pine cones on our search for a tree and had tied string around them so I could hang them off the branches. I'd also taken popcorn and strung it around the tree. Tim had been more interested in eating the popcorn then having it put on the tree though, and I'd had to bat him away constantly. But in the end, I'd gotten the tree decorated. The only thing I wasn't happy about was that I didn't have a star for the top of it, and there was a lack of lights.  
"OK, supper is ready." I said as I scooped the Kraft Dinner into bowls and set it down on the table.  
"Fancy." Tim said as he came over and sat down at the table across from me. "Couldn't find a better supper anywhere." I rolled my eyes.  
"Sorry, I forgot the turkey at home." I said sarcastically and Tim smirked.  
"We'll just have to do something else for Christmas dinner tomorrow." He said as he dove into the Kraft Dinner. I rolled my eyes but smiled as we ate in silence. When we finished, I started to take everything to the kitchen to clean up when Tim stopped me.  
"I'll clean up." He said as he took my bowl from my hands and walked to the kitchen.  
"Who the heck are you, and what have you done with Tim Shepard?" I asked as I followed him. Tim chuckled, and started to fill the sink with water.  
"Christmas is the only time of year you'll ever get me to help out in the kitchen." I laughed as I hopped up on the counter with a drying cloth in my hand. I sat there drying the dishes while Tim washed them, and I reached behind me to turn on the old radio that was sitting there.  
Christmas music crackled through the old speakers, and I twisted the knob until the sound came through clearly. I hummed along to the music as I dried the few dishes that we'd used. Once I was done, I hopped off the counter and started putting the dishes away when Tim pulled me around and we started dancing around the cabin. I laughed as he spun me around in a circle and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me back into his chest.  
In the back of my mind, I listened to the songs as they played through the speakers of the stereo. But the rest of my mind was more focused on other things, like the sound of Tim's heart beating, and the feel of my breath catching in my throat every time I tried to fill my lungs.  
The feeling freaked me out a little, since I'd only felt this way for Dally. Not that I wanted to go my whole life without finding someone else, but Tim Shepard wasn't exactly what I was looking for. Though, my standards couldn't be that high if I'd thought about spending whatever was rest of my life with Dallas Winston.  
With a sigh, I dropped my forehead against Tim's chest and closed my eyes. It was dark outside, and I could feel my legs growing heavy as the song ended and the announcer came on to announce the weather.  
We stopped moving, and stood for a moment in the middle of the room.  
"I should stock the fire." Tim said, though he kept his arms around my waist for a moment longer before letting go.  
I walked over to the couch where the blankets Tim and I had used for the past few nights were bunched up, and started to lay them out flat so I could lay down. I didn't feel like going to sleep yet, but I walked over to my suitcase and pulled out my pyjamas anyway.  
I walked to the bathroom and slipped them on before I walked back out into the living room. Tim was sitting in the chair closest to the fire, his eyes focused on the flames that were dancing around.  
"You seem very focused." I said as I sat down on the couch, curling my legs up underneath me as I reached for my book on the side table.  
"Yup." Tim said without looking up from the flames. I smirked and flipped through the book to the page I'd dog eared. "I got something for you." I looked up in surprise.  
"But it's not Christmas morning yet." I said. Tim smirked as he got up and took something out of a brown paper bag that was sitting beside the fire.  
"I think you might want it tonight." He said as he handed it to me. I raised my eyebrow at him before I opened the bag. My mouth dropped open in shock and I slapped my hands over it. I looked up at him, and saw him grinning.  
"Did you make this?" I asked as I pulled the wooden star out of the bag and held it up.  
"Yea," He said as he sat down beside me. "I saw how upset you were without a star on top of the tree, so I found some twigs and made one. It's a bit rough, but I think it'll do." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug.  
"I love it." I said as I pulled back and admired the handmade star. "Thank you." I looked over at the tree and got up, frowning when I realized I wasn't able to reach the top of the tree on my own.  
Suddenly, my feet left the ground and I turned my head to see that Tim had lifted me up.  
"Hurry up and put that thing on before I drop you." He said. I smiled and reached for the top of the tree, placing the star on the topmost branch. Tim set me down and we stood back to admire it.  
"Needs lights." I said. "But it'll have to do." I smiled as I turned to Tim and hugged him tightly. "Thank you." I said again. "It's amazing." I felt him kiss the top of my head, and wrap me in his arms before we sat down on the couch.  
"I'm glad you like it." He said. "Though I don't know how long it will last. It's only held together with some glue that I found, and some string." I nodded and yawned.  
"I think it'll be fine, for now at least. We can always re-glue it if it starts to fall apart." Tim shifted on the couch so that he was lying down, and I curled up at his side.  
"I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas." I said as I watched the flames dance in the fireplace. "That came quickly."  
"Um- hum." Tim mumbled, and I turned to see that he was starting to fall asleep. I smiled and closed my eyes.

XXX

The morning light came through the crack between the curtains that were drawn over the window, and I slowly opened my eyes, blinking at the bright light.  
"Merry Christmas, angel." I rolled over to see Tim standing beside the couch. "Have a nice sleep?" I smiled as I stretched my arms over my head.  
"It was nice and long." I said as I sat up, letting the blanket fall to my lap. "What time is it?"  
"Just after 9." I was surprised by how early I was up, but ever since I could remember, I'd always woken up early on Christmas morning. That was when I smelt bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen, and licked my lips hungrily.  
"That smells delicious." I said as I got up from the couch and walked over to the table. A plate was already set up for me, and I dropped down in the seat. "Thank you." I said before I bit into a piece of bacon. "Ummmm, that's good bacon!" I continued to devour my breakfast while Tim sat beside me sipping coffee. When I was done I dropped back in my chair with a content sigh.  
"That was delicious." I said as Tim took the plate to the sink and dropped it in the basin. "How did you learn to cook so well?" Tim smirked as we walked back over to sit by the fireplace on the couch and chair.  
"Mostly from a box." He said. "But I did teach myself how to cook a few things. How about you? How'd you learn to cook?" I laughed as I pulled my legs up underneath myself.  
"From a box." I said. "And I spent some time in the kitchen with a cook in New York. He wasn't really a friend, but he was nice enough to teach me a few things." Tim nodded as he stood up and walked over to the tree. At the base were 2 small boxes that hadn't been there the night before.  
"It's not much." He said as he handed me the bigger of the two boxes. I took it with a grin and pealed back the red and green striped paper. I lifted the lid and my eyes widened when I saw the cream coloured, knit shirt inside, wrapped up in the tissue paper from the store. I starred up at him with wide eyes, my mouth falling open.  
"I got it in a large, 'cause I didn't know what size you wanted." Tim said with a smirked as I pulled the shirt from the box and held it up. It would be too big to wear as a normal everyday shirt, but when I'd seen it in the store; I'd pictured it as being too big.  
"Oh my gosh! Were you following us when we went shopping that day?!" Evie and I had gone out a week before this trip so I could buy gifts for everyone, and while we were walking past one of the clothing stores, I'd seen the sweater on a rack and wanted it instantly.  
"No, but I have my sources of information." I smirked as I set the sweater to the side and picked up the other package.  
Once I unwrapped the small rectangular box, I smiled.  
"You're trying to make me fat." I said as I opened the box of chocolates. They were all different flavours and I licked my lips as I picked one up and popped it in my mouth. I had a thing for chocolate, and struggled to stop eating it when it once I had it in my hands. The box was probably only going to last a few days or so.  
"That's really good chocolate." I said as I got up and walked over to my suitcase that was sitting across the room. I pulled out a tank top that I used as an under shirt and other clothes before I walked to the bathroom.  
"I'll be right back." I said before I disappeared.  
When I stepped back out, Tim was putting more wood on the fire and turned once I was out in the main room. He smirked and stepped around the couch.  
"You look really good in that." He said, and I smiled as I looked down at the knit shirt. It hung off my left shoulder and dropped halfway to my knees, and the sleeves hung down past my hands.  
"Thank you, I love it." I kissed him on the cheek and walked to my suitcase to put away my pyjamas and pulled out two small wrapped packages. I handed it to him before I sat down on the couch while Tim walked over to sit on the chair.  
I watched as Tim unwrapped the larger package, and smirked when he pushed the paper away.  
"Really now?" He asked and held up the same box of chocolates that he'd given me. I snickered as I pulled my legs up to my chest.  
"I'd like to point out that I had no idea." I said as he reached for the smaller box. I bit my lip, hoping he'd like it.  
The rectangular box was a dark navy color while the inside was an almost pearl color. The silver chain lay across the pillow on the bottom of the box, the links that made it sparkling in the light of the fire.  
I bit my lip and waited for Tim's reaction, hiding a smile when I saw his mouth hanging open in surprise.  
"This is," He paused, clearly debating his words. "Not what I expected." I snorted, and rested my head on my knees.  
"That it?" I asked with a small smile and Tim looked up before he smirked.  
"The cover of this looks pretty scratched." He said as he stood up and came over to sit beside me. "A little too scratched for something that was just bought." I sighed and dropped my head down.  
"OK, so maybe I didn't get it for you originally." I said, and Tim nodded, as if he'd already figured it out. "I had been planning to give it to Dally for Christmas. They were having a sale and they were cheap enough for me to buy one. But clear, unexpected circumstances came up. I forgot about it until I found it buried in a drawer, and while Evie and I were out shopping I went to see if I could get it returned and maybe get you something different, but I'd had it too long." I gave him a half guilty look. "Not a bad thing is it?" Tim smirked and shook his head pulling the chain out of the box so he could clasp it around his neck.  
"Naw, it's cool. I like it." He said and I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. When he pulled away, I noticed him looking at my left shoulder.  
"I've been meaning to ask you for awhile. How'd you get that?" He asked and pointed at the round shaped scar just before the shoulder joint. I rubbed my hand over it absently, reminded of the night I got it.  
"Gang fight." I said then rolled my eyes at the statement. "If you could call it a gang fight. More like one gang ambushing another. They wanted me and Dally dead, so Trevor basically just dragged us out of the park where we were gathered and made us swear to leave the city." I sighed. "The guy who was leading the gang shot at me while we were running down an alley. Doctor said that I was lucky to still have the use of my arm after they took the bullet out." I rubbed at my shoulder again, pulling my shirt up so that the opposite shoulder slipped down.  
"Nasty." Tim said and I smirked.  
"I thought so at the time, but after it healed and stopped hurting every time I moved my arm, I barely even thought about it." I had moved around and now had my legs over Tim's lap. "Now if we're talking battle scars, what's that one on your side?" I asked, pointing at his left side.  
Tim lifted his shirt high enough to show off the pale white, raised line that ran from halfway down his side, to the start of his hip bone.  
"Souvenir from one of the River Kings when I was dating his sister. I wasn't doing anything except taking her out to the drive in, and I get back to her brother standing on the step. We had a little fight and when I thought it was over I turned to walk away and he caught me in the side." He smirked. "Needless to say, I was out of action for awhile." I snickered.

"Course it was over a girl." I said and Tim chuckled.

"And we all know how you got the one on _your _side." I rolled my eyes, but smirked.

"You're never going to let that go are you?" Tim shook his head.

"No, considering you should have seen it coming, it shouldn't have happened in the first place." I dropped my head back against the arm of the couch with a groan.

"I know." I said. "But it was our first fight; I wasn't ready for how they fought. Though I guess I should have been prepared considering I'd come from New York." With a sigh I looked out the window to judge the time. I figured it was almost noon, and UI was surprised considering it hadn't felt like that long since3 I'd woken up. Then again, Christmas day always did go by faster then normal days.

"Let's go outside for awhile, and then have lunch." Tim nodded and we got up to get ready for what was left of the day ready before walking out the door.

_Aren't you somethin', an original  
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample  
And I can't help but stare, 'cause  
I see truth somewhere in your eyes  
I can't ever change without you  
You reflect me, I love that about you  
And if I could, I would look at us all the time  
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul  
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go  
Just put your hand on the glass  
I'll be tryin' to pull you through  
You just gotta be strong  
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now  
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me  
The vacancy that sat in my heart  
Is a space that now you hold  
Show me how to fight for now  
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy  
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out  
You were right here all along_

XXX

I know the story is Christmas based, and we've only just started the school year, but it's just the way it turned out. Trust me, when I realized it I started thinking about waiting til Christmas to post, but I thought better of it. :p

Pretty please! Someone review! One word even! I miss not getting any reviews!

~Stay Gold!


	6. Chapter 6: The start of the end

_I'll keep your memory vague_ by finger eleven

XXX

_This won't break your heart  
But I just think it could  
Cause I haven't tried as hard as I should  
To separate you from everything I do  
But I would never want to come between us two  
I'll keep your memory vague  
So you won't feel bad about me  
I'll say the things that you said  
Sometimes so it reminds me_

A week later, Evie and I were shopping while the after Christmas sales were on.  
"I need a new wardrobe." I said as we browsed through a clearance rack.  
"I wonder why?" Evie said with a knowing look and I rolled my eyes, but I was trying hard to hide the smile I felt coming onto my face.  
"And why might that be?" I asked. "Enlighten me with your fountain of knowledge; also known as your mouth." Evie laughed as she picked up a shirt and then a skirt that might go with it.  
"I think you have someone in mind while you think about your possible new wardrobe. I know I'm right." I rolled my eyes but the smile came up on my lips.  
"I know who you think I'm thinking about, and I'm not thinking about him, so stop thinking it." Evie smirked as we both walked to the changing rooms with a load of new clothes in our hands to try them on.  
"I never asked," Evie said over the wall that separated the two changing stalls. "How did your trip in the woods go with Tim?"  
"I don't remember actually telling you about it." I said as I slid a shirt over my head and inspected myself in the mirror. I made a disgusted face and pulling it off.  
"Word gets around." She said. "So how'd it go?"  
"Fine." I said. "We got a tree out of the woods, decorated it, and sat around the fire. We even exchanged presents on Christmas." We were silent as we finished trying on clothes, and when we stepped out, Evie had a smirk on her face.  
"And what did he give _you_ for Christmas?" I rolled my eyes at obvious innuendo she was implying and smirked.  
"Not that." I said. "And even if he did, you wouldn't be hearing about it from me." Evie laughed as we tossed our unwanted clothes into the pile at the end of the row of changing rooms and went to pay for what we'd decided to buy. "He did get me that knit shirt I'd seen in the window when we came shopping before Christmas. Thanks for that by the way."  
"You're welcome, and you're right. It'd probably be coming from a long line of guys that you could eventually trace back to Tim." I rolled my eyes, but I had to agree. All boys around here had a tendency to brag about anything that would make them look good.  
"You must find it a little suspicious that he's doing all this for you, right?" I roll my eyes as we got into the truck, and threw our stuff into the small space behind us.  
"A lot of people keep asking me that." I said as I pulled onto the main road and started for home. "I know it isn't normal, so yes, in a way I am suspicious of him. But at this point, I'm going to let it slide until something really catches my attention. Until then," I shrugged as I pulled up outside Evie's house, cutting the engine of the truck. "I figure it's only a matter of time until he's stops with the surprises, so I'm taking what I can get." Evie laughed and got out of the truck, just as shouts echoed from inside her house, and something shattered.  
We both flinched, and Evie got back in the truck.  
"Mind taking me over to Steve's?" She asked, and I shook my head.  
"No problem. Tim's is in that general direction anyway." I started the truck back up and we took off down the street again.  
When we pulled up outside Steve's house, he came out the door with nothing on his feet but his socks.  
"What're you girls doin here?" He asked as we both got out.  
"Parents were fighting again." Evie said. "Can I stay here?" Steve nodded and took her arm to pull her inside.  
"You coming, Mia." I shook my head and stood up from where I was leaning against the side of the truck.  
"Naw, going to see Tim for a few hours before I have to go to work. Some girl called in sick and I offered to take her shift." I walked back around to the driver's side. "See you guys later." I called before closing the door. I rubbed my hands together to heat them up before I turned the key and got back on the road, heading for Tim's place.

"Hello?" I called into the house as I stepped inside. It was warm, and I could hear the crackle of the fire in the stove that sat at the far side of the living room.  
"Give me a minute." Tim called down the stairs, and a moment later, he half stumbled down in a pair of jeans. "Hey, what're you doing here?" I raised an eyebrow as we walked into the living room.  
"I came by before I have to go to work. What is up with you?"  
"The guys and I got together for a bit of a party last night, and I'm still fighting off the hangover." I could tell he was fighting off sleep and I ran a hand back through his hair.  
"You poor thing." I said in a sarcastic voice. "You want me to message your head until you feel better?"  
"You'd be the best girlfriend if you did." I snorted and rolled my eyes.  
"You're out of your mind." I said and reached for the remote to turn on the ancient looking television. It was black and white, and had bad reception for the 3 channels that they had. But it was noise, and I had a thing about a room being too quiet. It freaked me out when I thought too hard about it, so I tended to listen to every detail of sound I could find.  
"Out of my mind for you." Tim said as his lips contacted with my neck, and I nearly laughed out loud as he slid behind me and pulled me back against him.  
"You're outta your mind drunk, you lunatic." I said with a smile as I pushed his head away. I turned to look at him, and saw that his eyes were glassed over, and not completely focused. "You haven't stopped drinking since after that party have you?" Tim shook his head before letting it drop down on my shoulder.  
Just then, the door swung open, and Angela walked through the door. She stopped when she saw Tim and me sitting on the couch, and her nose crinkled up.  
"You two should get a room." She said as she strolled past the living room door and into the kitchen.  
"You should get out of this house before the old man gets in." Tim called back before wincing, and rubbing at his head. I rolled my eyes and untangled myself from Tim's grasp and got up for the kitchen.  
"I can't believe you put up with him." Angela said as I walked through the doorway and over to the counter where she was shuffling through the cupboards. "He's a pig. Have you seen the state of his room lately?" I nodded as I walked over to the fridge and checked the contents. There wasn't much inside, and what was there looked to be past its expiry date.  
"Trust me; I've seen the state of his room lately." I said as I closed the fridge door and opened the freezer. There was frost bitten pre-made pizza that looked like it wouldn't be too bad if I could figure out how to work the old fashion oven. It looked to be as old as the TV. I'd need to go get more food at some point.  
"That's right, you've practically moved in." Angela said as she pulled the can of coffee mix from the cupboard above the coffeemaker.  
"Have not." I said, though it was almost a lie. I kept very few things in an old duffle bag in Tim's closet. Just in case I ended up staying over at some point, but most of the time I ended up back at Buck's. At least that's what I let everyone think; but I guess some people weren't fooled by it.  
"Right." Angela said as she took the mix and headed back for the door. "We're gonna be hearing wedding bells soon I bet."  
"Shut up, Angela!" Tim and I both snapped at the same time as she reached the door. She flickered her gaze between the two of us before tossing her jet black hair over her shoulder, a smirk on her face.  
"Yup, soon enough." I sneered at her back as she retreated out the door.  
"She can really get under my skin sometimes." I said as I walked over to where Tim was now lying down across the old ratty couch. I dropped myself down beside him and turned my gaze to the TV before turning to see him looking up at me. "What?" I asked, and Tim shook his head.  
"Nothing." He mumbled. "Mind getting me something, I feel like my brain is about to come out my ears." I shook my head and rolled my eyes, but got up in search of something to help his headache.  
Once I found some Motrin, I got him a glass of water and walked back to the living room. Tim sat up and swallowed half the water with the pill, and then fell back against the single pillow on the couch.  
"Thanks." He mumbled, his attention stuck on the television. I set the glass down on the small side table and curled up beside him, using his arm as a pillow.  
We were both quiet for a while, watching some stupid show where people kept pulling dumb pranks on each other.  
"Damn this is boring." Tim said from behind me as his arm tightened around my waist a little, and I pulled his arm below my head closer to me. My back was to his chest, and I could feel every breath he took. It was comforting in a way, and I felt myself relax.

Dally's face shot across my mind, and I was jolted from my sleep, and I bolted up straight.  
"Hum? Wha?" Tim was shaking himself out of his own sleep, woken by my sudden movement. I felt my heart racing like a train through my chest, and I couldn't get my breath to come out evenly.  
"Mia? What's wrong? Did you hear something?" Tim was sitting up beside me, an arm around my shoulders as I tried to get my breathing under control.  
I shook my head as I finally stopped gasping in air, and I was left light headed and drained.  
"Nothing." I said, and stood up, something inside me screaming for me to move.  
"Don't pull that with me." Tim said, and I could hear a sternness in his voice that I hadn't heard him use with me. "Something's clearly wrong. You don't just bolt out of your sleep for no reason. Now tell me what's wrong so I can go back to sleep." I bit my lip, fear pulling at me.  
"I saw Dally's face." I said, and starred down at the floor. Tim was silent for a moment.  
"That's it?" He asked. "I'm sure this isn't the first time that's happened since he died." I shook my head, and started pacing again after I'd stopped to think for a moment.  
Over the past year or more, I'd had dreams about Dally all the time. Sometimes they were like memories, things that had happened in the past. Others were kind of like things that could have happened in the future, but clearly weren't going to happen anymore. But this time was different.  
"But he looked so angry." I said as Tim started to lie back down. He looked up at me with curiosity in his eyes. "I've never seen him that angry, not in my dreams, not in real life; and I've seen him at his worst." I stopped pacing again. "He was mad about something." I hadn't told anyone about the night Dally had visited me in my dreams, I was still wondering if it was a dream myself.  
"Well, don't worry about it tonight." Tim said after a moment. "We can deal with it in the morning. Besides, what's he got to be angry about? Aside from the fact that _I_ have you know." In the darkness of the room, except for the light shining through the window from a street lamp, I saw him smirk. "Nothing bad is going to happen; I think you're just over tired." I nodded and looked around at the grandfather clock that was in the corner of the room.  
"Oh crap!" I said and rushed to the door. "I'm late for that girls shift. I gotta go."

"Um, before you go," I stopped and looked up from pulling my boots on to see him sitting up.

What?' I asked and I pulled my other boot on. I watched as Tim's mouth opened before he closed it again and shook his head.

"Never mind." He said and stood up. "Just wanted another Motrin." I rolled my eyes.

"You're a big boy, you can get it yourself. Later, Tim."  
"Later, Mia." I heard Tim say before the door swung shut behind me and I was racing for my truck.  
As I turned the key and pulled away from the curb, I thought about what had woken me up.  
Maybe it was Dally making sure I wasn't late for work, but somewhere in the back of my mind, that didn't seem right. Dally was clearly trying to tell me something. I wasn't one for believing about messages coming from another world, particularly the dead one, but after seeing Dally that time in my dreams, I'd been hoping for some form of contact with him again ever since. Maybe this was it; and he was trying to warn me about something, something that would make him really angry if he was alive.  
But I couldn't tell what would make him that angry, besides me dating Tim now. But if he was alive, that wouldn't be an issue, so it must be something else.  
I sighed as I pulled up outside Buck's, and I took the key out of the ignition.  
Whatever it was that had me seeing Dally angry would come out eventually, I'd figure it out at some point. Maybe he'd do the visiting me in my dreams thing again and he'd tell me. I wouldn't mind seeing him again; even if it wasn't real.

But even if he didn't, I knew there had to be a reason I was seeing him so angry. Dally had a short temper, but I'd never seen him so angry in all the years he'd been alive. I couldn't think of anything that would have him that angry, and hoped it'd just been a bad dream.

Little did I know that the bad dream, was about to become my own living nightmare.

_Now I'm thinking back  
To what I said before  
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore  
Cause it's really not that sad from here  
Because the moments I can feel you near  
They keep you close to me my dear  
And if they ever become too clear...  
Now you've gone away  
Don't worry it's ok  
That you're gone away  
Further than yesterday  
But you'll never leave these scenes  
My mind replays_

XXX

Feeling sick. :/ Reviews would definitely make me feel better though. :p

~Stay Gold!


	7. Chapter 7: I'm doing this for you

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! My week was a bit busy last week and I didn't have time. So here's chapter 7, and it's my personal favourite for the chapters that I have written so far.

_Shallow_ by Ramsay Fiction

XXX

Empty and it eats me alive

And it leaves me here for dead

you stick it so it never be here  
you stick it so it never live here  
Everything is turning out so perfectly  
So you can see me (see me)  
I'm shallow I'm miserable  
And I'm waiting hear till it feels ok again

The sound of the front door banging opened and slamming shut woke me up from my sleep on the couch. I opened my eyes and looked around the dimly lit living room, knowing fully well I should be the only one in the house. The old man was out drinking away his life, Curly was in the reformatory again for a few months, and Angela was hanging around with her friends and stay with ma.  
"Long time no see, Shepard." A sly voice came from the doorway to the living room.  
I pulled myself up into a seated position before I stood up. I could still feel a headache pounding through my head, but it wasn't as bad as before.  
"I thought you were still in jail." I said as stuffed my hands down in my jeans pockets. I heard him chuckle, and the sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge.  
"Got out early, and I thought I'd pay you a visit." I could make out his silhouette moving towards me, but he kept himself in the shadows, keeping his face out of my view. "I hear you're keeping her out of it." I could hear the laugh in his voice, and I felt anger rise through me.  
"She doesn't need to know; 'sides, it's what you wanted." I said and this time, he did laugh.  
"You got it bad for her," He said. "Well, it might be a good thing. Least you ain't running your mouth." I saw a flash of something, and heard a gun being clicked into place. "Cause we want you to say on with us." I took a surprised step back, shock rolling through me before I got angry.  
"No way, man." I snapped. "I agreed to sell until she got home. You set another package weeks after she got home, and I sold that out, but I ain't doing anymore. She's gonna find out, and I'll be in deep shit." He chuckled again, though this time, he didn't sound all that amused anymore.  
"Listen Shepard. If I were you, I wouldn't quit. Remember what I told you before; I'll cut her down if you don't listen."  
"I won't let you lay a hand on her." I sneered, defensiveness building up in me. "I'll get you before you can even think about getting her." He sighed irritably and I watched him walk over to lean against the wall before looking back at me. Lights shone through the window beside him, and it highlighted half his face, showing the evil glint in his eye.  
"Don't underestimate me, Shepard." He growled, amusement gone from his voice. "I have boys watching her right now. I can make one phone call and she'll be dead. Either that or I can send those pictures to the cops, if you want her sent away again."  
"You mother-"  
"Ah- ah- ah. Watch your language, Shepard." He said, evil sarcasm dripping from his voice. "One wrong move, and she's gonna get it. Put it this way, you either keep working for me, or you can say good bye to your pretty little girlfriend. Permanently." I gritted my teeth together; he wasn't really giving me any option.  
"Fine." I bit out sharply. "When's the next package going to show up? I don't want Mia here when it comes." The grin on his face read devious, the worst kind and I wondered how Mia had ever gotten mixed up with a guy like this. Sure she had her evil days, but it never got as bad as this guy.  
"Sometime next week. I'll have one of the boys hand it over somewhere else, just to make sure she doesn't find out. I'll give you a call about a location." He turned around to walk out the door, and I was very tempted to crack something over his head and deposit his body in the woods somewhere, where no one would ever find him until he was nothing but dust. But I couldn't risk that he'd told the rest of his guys to take Mia out if I pulled something like that. So I clenched my hands into fists in my pockets and bit down hard on my tongue until I was sure I tasted blood.  
"Better keep her out of this, Shepard. The moment she finds out..." I watched him form a gun with his hand. "Pow. She's a goner." I bit harder on my tongue to keep from cussing him out. I saw him smirk as he made his way to the door. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around Shepard."  
"How much longer you planning on holding this over my head?" I snapped as I followed him out onto the porch. Now that we were outside, the street light across the road allowed me to see all of him, and I wanted nothing more then to punch the superior look off his face.  
"Whenever I'm done with you, I'll let you know." He laughed and walked down the steps of the porch to an old rusty car sitting out front.  
I watched as he drove away before I walked back into the house. I started pacing the living room, the only sound came from the TV I hadn't turned off when Mia left.  
I hated him, I hated that guy. If I got the chance, I'd kill him. I knew he'd kill Mia if I screwed up; he was as heartless as they came. Even the old man wouldn't threaten to kill anyone, even he had limits. But him; his limit was endless. Every time I thought he couldn't pull some other stupid stunt, he was there to prove me wrong.  
I dropped down onto the couch and hung my head in my hands. Mia. She was the only one on my mind, and I wished she wasn't. I couldn't think straight about what to do, and right now, I needed to in order to get myself out of this.  
But there was no way out, I'd tried to get out already, but every time I thought I was getting somewhere, they pulled out another version of the same story I'd been hearing for the better part of a year, and I was left where I'd started.  
The guys all thought it was my idea, that I was the one getting the supplies and stuff. They didn't know that I wasn't the one in charge of the operation, and that was how it was going to stay. The only way out of this was to get arrested, and that wasn't what I wanted.  
If only she didn't mean so much to me, I'd be able to handle this better.  
With a heavy sigh, I stood back up and went to my room to find a shirt. My stomach growled with hunger, and a deep sense of protectiveness that I'd only ever felt for Angela and Curly when they got in over their heads. I'd never felt like this for a girl, and it freaked me out beyond anything else. But it didn't change the fact that it was there, and I needed to go make sure she was OK. On top of the fact that I'd promised Dallas I'd watch out for her. If she got hurt, or worse, I was positive that Dally would find some way to get back at me for it.

I started for my car before I remembered that the cops had impounded it after they found it parked in an illegal zone. There hadn't been any signs saying so, but they pulled it away anyway. I figured I'd have the money back soon enough to get it out, but for now, I was stuck walking.

It was a half hour walk into town, and another 10 minute walk to the street where the bar was. Once I got there, I was half starved. It was almost 10, so the bar would be closing in an hour, but I hoped I could still get food.  
"Tim?" Mia's voice caught my attention and I looked up from the ground where I'd been inspecting my boots to see her standing in front of me with a tray of drinks in her hands.  
"Hey, got hungry." I said as I walked over to the bar and sat down. A moment later she came back over with the now empty tray and set it under the counter.  
"There must have been food in the house." I shrugged. Mia had basically started living at the house, and she bought food which actually got eaten before mould took over it.  
"Too lazy." I said and she shook her head, but I saw a smile on her face.  
"I'll have James get something going for you." She walked away to the back before she came out, pulling her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face.  
She came over and leaned against the counter in front of me, a smile on her face. I loved her smile, it was soft, but it was sneaky and made you want to watch her every move so that she wouldn't pull something on you.  
"You must really miss me to want to walk all the way into town, just for a meal. You could have gone over to the Dingo." I leaned an elbow on the countertop and dropped my head into my hand.  
"Food's better here." I said, covering up the real reason I was here. "Besides, you ain't done a night shift yet, so I thought I'd come by and see how you were holding up." Mia rolled her eyes.  
"I have done night shifts." She said. "Just not that many; that goes to show how much you pay attention." I smirked and leaned closer to her.  
"I pay attention," I said, and when she raised her eyebrow at me, I rolled my eyes. "OK, sometimes I pay attention." She nodded and was about to lean across the counter when James called her to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes and left before coming back with a plate of food.  
"Here," She placed it in front of me before grabbing a beer from the fridge behind her. "Eat up before you go skinny as a twig." She smirked as I rolled my eyes. It wasn't that I was skinny, I just didn't weigh that much, and most of the weight was muscle.  
"The way you feed me, that won't be the case much longer." I said before she walked away to look after a few customers.  
The bar was mostly empty, just a few couples eating before or after a date, and a small group of guys off in the corner. I watched them for a moment, noticing that they were talking quietly among themselves and seemed to be taking turns looking up around the bar. I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when I watched one of them glance over at Mia, who was cleaning an empty table. Those must be the guys who were here to watch her.  
I finished eating and pushed the plate away, just as Mia came back over and cleared it away.  
"Want anything else?" She asked as she wiped down the bar counter with a damp clothe.  
"Yea, to go back to sleep." She smiled softly as she finished cleaning and rested her arms on the counter.  
"Half an hour and I'm closing up. I'll drive you home."  
"Not staying tonight?" I asked in surprise. Truth was, I didn't want her going back to Buck's. It wasn't that I didn't think he'd be able to keep her safe if something happened, it was just that it was easier for them to get at her at his place.  
"Not unless you want me to." She grinned and I smirked.  
"You know I always want you to stay over." She laughed softly and leaned over for a kiss. I hated it when she pulled away, but a couple had come over to pay for their meal.

The time ticked by slowly as I sat at the bar waiting for Mia to finish work. I found myself caught up in my thoughts; they were caught between what to do about the mess I was in, and wondering how I'd ever be able to face Mia again if she found out. I didn't think I could; the disappointment and anger in her face was as clear now in my head as it would be if she was standing right in front of me. There was no way she was going to find out, the boys already knew the consequence if they let slip to Mia about anything, and outside the gang, no one else knew. No one that mattered at least. Except for him, but he was the one keeping me from telling her.  
I realized with a heavy sigh that I was stuck, I couldn't tell her, and yet, a part of me thought I couldn't _not_ tell her. Mia's life was in danger of collapsing in on her, and I had to do whatever it took to keep it from happening. Unfortunately, that meant keeping her in the dark. And I was willing to do anything to keep her safe. 

See through and it kills me again  
When it fallows and I cant let go  
used to be that it never live here  
used to be that it never stay here  
Everything is turning out so perfectly  
So you can see me (see me)  
I'm shallow I'm miserable  
And I'm waiting hear till it feels OK again  
Hating this, hating this, can't get home  
I'm shallow I'm miserable  
And I'm waiting hear till it feels OK again  
I'm shallow  
(shallow oooh oh ooh)  
shallow

XXX

Hope everyone enjoyed! Sorry if there are any errors in the lyrics (if anyone actually reads them :p). I got them from a different site then I normally do and I found a bunch of errors. I fixed them, but it's possible that I missed some. So if you find any, I'm sorry. If it doesn't matter to you then ignore them, if it does bother you, message me and I'll work on fixing the problem.

~Stay Gold!


	8. Chapter 8: Shifting times

A/N: I realized that it's been awhile since I put in a disclaimer, so here's one now. I don't own The Outsiders. I really wish I did cause it is the work of a genius, but I don't.

_Heartbreaker_ by Pink

XXX

_I keep thinkin' bout that little sparkle in your eye  
Is it a light from the angels, or your devil deep inside?  
What about the way you say you love me all the time  
Are you liftin' me up to heaven, just to drop me down the line?  
There's a ring around my finger,  
But will you change your mind?  
And you tell me that I'm beautiful,  
But that could be a lie  
Are you a heartbreaker?  
Maybe you want me for the ride  
What if I'm fallin' for a heartbreaker?  
And everything is just a lie  
I won't be leavin' here alive  
I won't be leavin' here alive, no  
Temporary happiness is like waiting for the knife  
Cause I'm always watchin' for someone to show their darker side  
So maybe I'll sit back and just enjoy all this for now  
Watch it all play out, see if you really stick around_

The problems started in the middle of May. I'd noticed a change in Tim's attitude around the end of January. I'd very rarely seen him get drunk outside of parties; but now he went out drinking with his gang all the time, coming back stoned out of his mind.  
I'd asked if I could go with him a few times, but he'd said no. At first, I hadn't thought anything of it; but when he wouldn't come back until late the next night, or sometimes the morning after that, I started to become suspicious of what he could be doing.  
That was when the fights started. They weren't that big a deal at first; I would just snap at him for being out late, and never telling me where he was going. But I'd bit my tongue when he'd drop down on his bed, or on the couch, with a groan. Clearly suffering from a hangover.  
But as the months went by, things got worse and I started to get frustrated over where he could possibly be going all the time.  
"I know you run a gang," I'd said one night when I'd arrived at his house after he'd been out for the third time that month. After a long string of nights out over the past months. "But I think this is a little much, don't you?"  
"Listen Mia, we're in the middle of dealing with a few things." He'd been sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hand. "Just calm down, it'll be over soon." I'd huffed and turned to leave the house, frustration driving me in circles.  
But I'd believed him then, but now, I was having a very hard time trusting anything he said.

For the following few months after that, Tim and I had been going through good days and bad days. Good days were when we'd go out for a meal, and talk like we always would. Bad days were when one of us would wake up in a bad mood and start a fight over something. For example; the other day I'd stayed over and was making breakfast the next morning when Tim came into the kitchen. Without a word he got a cup of coffee, and left_. Not a word_. I was furious and after I ate, I left for the rest of the day. I hadn't been planning on going back to the house that day, but I realized I'd left my jacket in my rush to get out, so I had no choice but to go back. Tim had been home and we'd had another fight. I'd grabbed my jacket, snapped at him and left. It'd taken days for us to work things out.  
Today was an off day, yesterday being the bad one. I had snapped at him again for something else, this time though, I accused him of seeing someone else.  
The situation would have gotten worse had I not run out the door.  
Now it was heading into evening, and I'd been sulking around Buck's all day, trying my hardest not to let any tears fall from my eyes, or let the pain eat at me too much.  
I had been in the bathtub for maybe 5 minutes when Buck knocked and I pulled the curtain over before he stepped in.  
"Tim's here." He said, though he didn't sound happy about it. He'd been watching me walk through the day like a ghost, and knew Tim was the cause of my drastic mood swing. "You want me to kick him out? Cause if you want me to, I'll kick his ass out into the yard." I started to nod my head, but caught myself and shook it.  
"No," I said quietly, my voice soft from lack of use. "Send him up." Buck nodded reluctantly before he closed the door.  
I pulled the curtain over all the way, blocking my view of the door, and visa versa.  
There was a quiet knock before the door opened and I peeked out from behind the curtain to see Tim standing there, the door now closed behind him while he looked down at the floor.  
"What do you want?" I asked, putting as much force into my voice as possible.  
"Mia-" He started and cut himself off when he let out a heavy sigh. "Look, I'm tired of all this fighting, OK? That's all we've been doing for months now, and it's not us. I know it's not, cause we were fine before the New Year started." He looked at me, and though I knew his words were meant as an apology, I couldn't read anything in his face. It was as blank as a stone. "I don't want to keep doing this" He said as he came over to the side of the tub. He kneeled down beside it and pulled the curtain back enough that it wasn't hanging in our faces, but I pulled it over to cover myself up. "I can't keep doing this with you; all this fighting is making everything else seem ten times as hard as it used to be." I bit my lip, knowing I shouldn't believe what he was saying. This was what everyone had been warning me about, his lies, and his ability to cover them up so no one could see them. But I was falling for it again, just like I had at the beginning.  
"I know," I said, even though my brain was screaming for me to smack him across the face and tell him to get out and leave me alone. "I hate fighting." The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile and he reached a hand up to brush some of my hair out of my face.  
"So do I, with you at least." He leaned against the tub. "How much longer are you planning on staying in there?" I shrugged and dipped my fingers into the water that was slowly starting to cool down.  
"I need a shower, and then I'll be out." Tim nodded and shifted around to lean against the wall.  
"You have a shower, and then we can go eat. I'm half starved." I rolled my eyes, but moved to the other end of the tub to pull the plug and let the water drain out.  
"You're always half starved." I commented as I pulled the curtain over fully and stood up before turning on the shower.  
I quickly washed up, since the water was cooling off, and shut the tap off.  
"Can you pass me that towel?" I asked Tim as I pointed out to the towel on the back of the door. Tim grabbed it and passed it to me, and I quickly dried myself off before I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped out. Tim was leaning against the counter, seemingly waiting for me to finish.  
"Leave so I can get dressed." I said and Tim rolled his eyes, but left the bathroom without another word.  
I pulled on my clothes and ran my hairbrush back through my hair before I pulled it back in a ponytail, still wet.

"Where are you going?" Buck asked as I came down the stairs.  
"Tim's taking me out to eat." I hadn't eaten all day, and now I was starting to feel the side effects of it.  
"Mia." Buck ground out. "I'm not liking the way he's got you forgiving him with a few choice words." I sighed and ran a hand over my face.  
"Just let me be, Buck." I said. "I haven't forgiven him; not one bit." Buck raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "OK, I've forgiven him a little, but not completely. I'm hoping I'm going to find out what's been going on." I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "I don't trust that he isn't seeing someone else, and I figure I'll find out tonight." Buck let out a sigh.  
"Well, if you end up stuck somewhere, call the bar. I'm going to go keep an eye on the place for a little while." I nodded and headed out the door to find Tim waiting in the car.  
"Where to?" He asked as he started it up and pulled out of the yard.  
"The Dingo's fine with me." I said as I leaned against the window, closing my eyes.  
"You look tired." Tim said, and I nodded.  
"I didn't get much sleep last night." I said, knowing fully well the accusation in my voice. The silence was tense, and I was glad to arrive at the Dingo so I could get out of the car.  
We walked in and headed for a booth at the back of the diner. I slid into one seat, and Tim slid in across from me. We were quiet while we waited for someone to come take our order.  
I was picking at the pealing paint on the table top when Tim cleared his throat.  
"I don't want this to turn into another fight," He started. "But I think we need to talk about what happened." I nodded, and waited for him to continue. "I'm not seeing someone else, Mia. I swear, it's only you." I fiddled with the ring on my finger.  
I remembered when Tim had graduated from the Will Rogers High School; it was the same year I dropped out. All the graduates got rings with their diplomas, and most of them who had girlfriends handed them over to them. Dally had gotten his off a drunk senior a few days after graduation, and he'd given it to me a few days after that. I still had the ring; it was on a chain in the back of my drawer, along with the chain my mother had given me. I'd started wearing Dally's chain when I got home from New York, and I hadn't taken it off since.  
"Then where have you been going?" I asked as I planted my hands down flat on the table surface. "And why?" Tim opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the arrival of our food.  
"I've been going out with the boys." He said. "We've got a way of getting cash, and its working. Since our rodeo thing ended for us." I nodded and took a bit of my burger.  
It was unfortunate that the one rodeo I'd gone to see was the one where they got busted. It turned out it was fixed, and somehow it got pinned on Tim's guy. It put an end to their rodeo days.  
"Why won't you tell me what it is that you're doing?" I asked. Trying to keep the desperate plead out of my voice.  
"Mia, I..." He broke off, and sat there for a moment, clearly unsure of how to continue. "I just don't want you to get in on it, OK? I don't want to see you get hurt, and what we're doing isn't easy stuff. I know you want to stay outta jail, and this is a high risk jail thing. I just don't want to see you get hurt." I bit my tongue to keep from making a comment, and instead nodded my head.  
"I'm gonna go get a refill on my drink." I slid out of the seat and walked over to the bar counter. I asked for another drink and slid onto a stool to wait. The diner wasn't overly busy, but it was enough that I had to wait for someone to come back with my drink.  
"Well for all the lights in New York!" I sat up straight when the voice spoke behind me. "Mia Baker. For all my life, I never thought I'd ever see you again." Shock shot through me as I realized I knew that voice, and I turned to see a young girl with bright green eyes and smooth brown hair that hung down to the middle of her back.  
"Jessie?" I asked and a smile broke out across her face, causing one to form across mine. "Oh my god! Jessie!" I stood from my stool and wrapped my arms tightly around the girl. She laughed as she hugged me back just as tight,  
"Mia! Oh, how I've missed you!" Jessie said as she pulled back.  
"I've missed you too." I said as I grabbed my drink. "How long has it been?" Jessie laughed.  
"However long it's been since you and Dallas skipped town. I think we were hanging out the day before, weren't we?" I rolled my eyes, though I felt slightly guilty.  
Jessie Hanson had been my closest friend, besides Dally, in New York. She was a year old, and I'd always looked up to her. Though at one point, she'd admitted that she was envious of my ability to fight, deal with all the guys and be able to look after myself. It was hard to find a completely independent girl in New York back then. Not that I'd ever felt that way. I'd always felt like I was depending on Dally too much.  
"Probably." I finally said. Whenever I wasn't with the old gang, I was normally hanging out with Jessie and a few other girls. Contrary to what everyone seemed to think around here about what my life was like in New York, I did have friends that weren't guys. "So what brings you here? Long way from the city." Jessie nodded and bit at her lip.  
"Here on business with..." She trailed off and looked over my shoulder. I followed her gaze and frozen, wishing I hadn't moved at all.  
"Hiya, Mia." I knew my eyes were wide, but I couldn't help it.  
David Languor was standing behind me, his dusty blonde hair longer then I remembered it to be, and his hazel eyes didn't sparkle like they used to when we were younger.  
"Hey, David." I said, trying- and failing- to pull my eyes off of him. He'd changed from the skinny, awkward kid I'd known. Now he was tall, broad shouldered, and seemed to have put on some weight; but it looked to be all muscle from the way his t-shirt fit across his chest. "You've changed." He smirked, though the shock I knew was in my eyes, was flickering across his as we starred each other down, trying to see who'd back down first. I won; David looked down at his ratty old sneakers as he rubbed at the back of his neck.  
"So have you." He said. "For the better though." He scanned me up and down, a grin playing across his face. "Definitely for the better." I sneered, knowing he _hadn't_ changed since back then.  
"David." Jessie scolded, then turned to me. "We were just about to grab something to eat, would you like to join us?"  
"Actually, I already have a table. You can come join us if you want." Jessie raised an eyebrow when I said us, but nodded and the three of us walked over to where Tim was leaning against the wall beside the booth.  
When we arrived, Tim looked up and surprise flashed through his eyes when he saw the two people behind me.  
"Tim, this is Jessie Hanson, and David Languor." I said as I slid into the booth beside Tim so that Jessie and David could sit together on the other side. "Jess, David, this is Tim Shepard. My boyfriend." The words sounded strange coming from my mouth after all the trouble we'd been having, but I let it slid.  
"Hello." Jessie said with a smile, and David nodded a hello before wrapping an arm around Jessie's shoulders. A second later, I felt Tim do the same thing, and I noticed the hard looks the two of them were giving each other.  
"Oh, stop it." I said, just as a waitress came over to take our orders. "I'd suggest the burger and fries." I told Jessie, and she nodded before ordering two. "Half the stuff they serve here isn't any good." Jessie smiled.  
"Sounds like home." She said. "That burger joint we always went to closed down a few years ago, and now we've all moved to another place a little closer to the main part of the city, I wouldn't trust most of the food to be legal." I made a disgusted face, but smirked.  
"I wouldn't have trusted most of the stuff at the other place to be legal either." Jessie nodded in agreement and we continued to chat until our food came.  
"So Tim," David started as he dove into his burger. "How'd you and Mia meet?" I rolled my eyes, wondering what he was trying to get at.  
"Her and Dallas got into some trouble with some kids from the other side of town. Some guys I got a gang with and I had to help them out."  
"We were doing just fine on our own." I said around a mouthful of fries. Tim smirked over at me.  
"Right." He said, and I rolled my eyes. We'd had this argument before; long before we were even dating.  
We all ate in silence, finishing quickly and paying for the meal. We made our way outside and over to one of the picnic tables that were set outside once the weather started to warm up. A fight had broken out on the other side of the parking lot, and David took off after Tim to go check it out. The two seemed to have come to some weird agreement over whatever it was they'd had against each other, and were being civil with each other.  
"It's been good seeing you again, Mia." Jessie said as we sat on the top of the picnic table, watching the dust fly up from the fight. It hadn't rained for a while now, and everything was dry.  
"Same." I said. "It's nice to see a friendly face for once." I clasped my hands together as I looked down at the ground. "It's been a rough few months; things haven't been going very well between Tim and me lately."  
"I noticed. You seem very tense around him." Jessie said. "What's wrong?"  
"That's just it," I said as I ran my hands down my face. "I have no idea what's wrong. It just kind of happened. I mean, things were a little weird when I got back from being in New York- I got in trouble and they hauled me up there to serve out my time." I answered in response to her confused face. "But it's only been since January that the change has been noticeable. But it hasn't been a good change." I watched Jessie bit at her lip nervously, and was about to ask what was wrong when she looked around and pulled me off the picnic table, and over behind a large tree at the side of the parking lot.  
"Listen Mia." She said, seriousness covering her voice. "I could get in big trouble over what I'm gonna tell you, but you really need to know." She took a deep breath and looked around, checking over at the fight that was still happening. I could see Tim and David placing bets with a guy over who'd win. But other then that, it was impossible to see anywhere else in the dark. "Things are changing, and not for the better either." I glanced at her. Even though she was a year old, we were the same height, and I was able to look her right in the eyes. She almost looked scared to be telling me this. "There are some bad things going on that could do a lot of harm to a lot of people if it leaked out. He's got it out for all of us, including you. Especially you." I raised an eyebrow at her.  
"Me? Who's got it out for me?" I watched as Jessie shook her head; she kept glancing over at the fight, which was starting to finish up. From the look on Tim's face, he'd win if things kept going the way they were.  
"I can't say, I've already told you too much." Jessie took a deep breath, and looked me straight in the eyes; I could see fear flickering through them. "Listen to what I'm going to tell you. This is very important, and you need to follow what I say. Don't trust _anyone_ outside your closest friend group, _and I mean no one_. If any strange people come up to you, scream as loud as you can. I know this place is like New York in its own way, but scream anyway. Don't walk alone; especially at night. Keep yourself in the open as often as possible, and keep this on you at all times." She glanced over at the fight again. It was over and the people who'd won were collecting their money.  
I was focused on the money Tim was being handed when I felt a cold metal object being dropped into my hand. I looked down to see a small revolver sitting heavily on my palm.  
"Jessie?!" The fact that she had a gun on her at all freaked me out, let alone the fact that she was handing one to me. "You must be out of your mind!" She shook her head.  
"I care about you, Mia. You're like a sister, and this is for all those times you pulled me out of trouble. Keep it hidden, and keep it with you at all times. Savvy?" I nodded, a numb feeling crawling its way up my stomach to my throat, making me feel like I was going to be sick.  
Jessie nodded, seemingly approving of my lack of words, and pulled me out from behind the tree.  
"Also," She said in a whisper, since the boys were on their way back over. "Don't say a word about this to anyone. Your life, literally, depends on you keeping silent." I nodded, stowing the gun away out of sight in the back of my jeans.  
"What're you girls talking about?" Tim asked as they came up to where we were standing.  
Inside me, I was screaming and fighting the urge to cry; on the outside, I shrugged casually.  
"Just catching up." I said, and placed a hand on my stomach. "I ain't feeling too good. Can you take me back to Buck's?" Tim raised an eyebrow at me, but nodded.  
"How long are you guys staying?" I called out as we walked to Tim's car.  
"Leaving tomorrow." Jessie called. I pouted and she returned the look. "It was good seeing you again, Mia. We should really try to keep in touch this time." I nodded and waved before ducking down into the car.

The drive home was silent, and I fought hard to ignore the feeling of the gun pressing against my back. Jessie's words flashed through my brain, and I was left trying to decipher what they meant; what all of this meant.  
Tim pulled up outside Buck's and stopped the car. I sat there for a moment longer before I reached for the door handle.  
"Thanks." I said softly, too absorbed in my thoughts. But before I could get out, Tim's hand reached out and took hold of my arm. I turned to look at him, and in the lack of light coming from inside the house, I could only make out a flicker in his eyes before his mouth was suddenly crushed against mine.  
I sat in shock for a moment before I eased into it and wrapped an arm up around his neck, tangling my fingers in his ever greasy hair.  
The kiss lasted a long time before we both pulled away with a gasp of air. I felt my cheeks flush with color, and my lips tingled.  
"I'm sorry, Mia." He said. "I really am. I wish things weren't the way they are right now." I nodded, still absorbed in my thoughts and the kiss to really be paying attention. "Sleep well, angel." He kissed me again, softer this time and I nodded once more before I got out of the car.  
I slowly made my way up to my room and collapsed on the bed without bothering to change my clothes.  
I was so confused. Everyone was acting like the world was ending or something; which I knew it wasn't. But no one seemed to be acting the way they used to, and it was leaving me with a massive headache trying to figure it all out at once.  
I felt tears sting my eyes, and I wiped them away furiously. This wasn't something to cry over, this was nothing, and I could deal with it. But the tears continued to come, and I found myself crying myself into a restless sleep.

_But there's always this one question  
That keeps me up at night  
Are you my greatest love  
Or disappointment in my life?  
Are you a heartbreaker?  
Maybe you want me for the ride  
What if I'm fallin' for a heartbreaker?  
And everything is just a lie  
I won't be leavin' here alive  
I might as well lay down and die  
I'm holding on with both hands and both feet, oh  
Promise that you won't pull the rug out from under me  
Are you a heartbreaker?  
Maybe you want me for the ride  
I pray to god you're not a heartbreaker  
This time around I won't survive  
Cause if I'm fallin' for a heartbreaker  
And everything is just a lie  
I won't be leavin' here alive  
I might as well lay down and die, oh  
I won't be leavin' here alive _

XXX

I realize that some people think that Tim didn't graduate, but I kind of picture him graduating.

I hope everyone enjoyed that chapter, new characters… Do you think they'll have a part in the rest of the story? Send me your thoughts, either as reviews or as private messages. Also, what do you think Tim has gotten into? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Reviews please!

~Stay Gold!


	9. Chapter 9: Trying to keep you safe

A/N: So if any of you know this song, you know it has nothing to do with James Dean and Audrey Hepburn. :p I find that some of their song titles have nothing to do with the actual song.

_If I'm James Dean, __You're Audrey Hepburn_ by Sleeping with Sirens

XXX

_Stay for tonight  
If you want to  
I can show you  
What my dreams are made of,  
as I'm dreaming of your face  
I've been away for a long time  
Such a long time  
And I miss you there  
I can't imagine being anywhere else  
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here  
How the hell did you ever pick me?  
Honestly, I could sing you a song  
But I don't think words can express your beauty  
It's singing to me  
How the hell did we end up like this?  
You bring out the beast in me  
I fell in love from the moment we kissed  
Since then we've been history  
They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me_

"I told you to keep everyone away from her!" I snapped as I stormed into the house. It was crumbling at the foundation, the walls were green with mould, and the electricity was minimal because it was running off one of the nearby houses. The first time I'd come down here, I'd been surprised since I thought the area where I lived was the bottom of the barrel, but clearly I was wrong.  
"It was my fault, Tim." Jessie said from her place at the end of the couch. "I couldn't keep watching her from far away; I haven't seen her in years. I missed her." I took a deep breath and jammed my fists into my pockets so I wouldn't slam them against something- or someone.  
"I don't care!" I hissed. "I told him to keep all of you away from her. If she starts seeing all of you around all the time, she's going to suspect something. She's already pissed off as it is. I'm over my head with all this, and you showing up and mess things up some more!" Anger swelled in my chest as I paced the room. "Did you tell her anything? Did you tell her you knew who I was?" Jessie shook her head and whether she had or not, I couldn't tell. Her face was stone cold, and impossible to read. She looked like Mia when she was really mad; blank as a sheet of paper, completely unreadable.  
"Lighten up, Shepard." David said from the chair he was lounging in. "She wasn't never fast on her feet. She'll probably never even find out, as long as you do your job."  
"How long has it been since you talked to her again?" I asked. I dropped my hands down on the arm of the chair he was in, and got up in his face. "Cause it must've been a long time. She's clearly gotten quicker at noticing problems then she was when she was around you." David sneered and pushed me back away from him.  
"Well just keep your mouth shut." He snapped. "The boss won't be happy if he finds out you've let slip something to her. You know the consequences of it."  
"I don't have much choice, since everyone keeps throwing it in my face whenever they get the chance." I ran a hand back through my hair. "Just keep yourselves scarce. Now that she knows you've been here, she may be able to pick you out of the crowd a lot faster then had you kept your mouths shut, and stayed out of sight." David rolled his eyes and got up from the chair, walking towards the hall of the small house.  
"Whatever." He said as he came back with a suitcase. "Just do your job and we'll do ours. Here's your next load." He took out 4 clear bags of about 5 pounds of a pure white powder and handed them to me. "These are for the regulars." I nodded and took the bags from him before I headed for the door, but before I got there, David called out to me. "And Shepard, the boss has a little gift for you. It's gonna be at your house later- don't worry, I've seen it and it ain't nothin' bad." I narrowed my eyes at him, but walked out the door anyway without another word.  
I checked around before I stepped out of the dark shadows on the rotten porch and jogged to the car. I stashed the bags in the hidden compartment I'd constructed in the trunk of the car and closed the top gently.  
As I drove away from the rotting house, I wondered if I was really willing to do this. I knew she didn't want to go back to jail; and I knew I didn't want her shot. But if it came down to the two options, I'd have them send her back. I was clearly coming to my breaking point if I was honestly considering the two options.

XXX

I arrived at home, shortly after one in the morning. I hadn't gone home right away; instead I'd gone out for a few hours to a bar at the very edge of town. It'd been crawling with junkies and drunks, but I preferred it that way. Since no one would know who I was, and would never remember my face if someone went asking about me there.  
I managed to park the car somewhat straight in the driveway and walked up the porch to the door. I didn't know if the old man was home or not, but at that point I didn't care. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about my life for a few hours.  
But clearly, my mind had another opinion on sleep, and I tossed around my bed until light filled my room. I looked at the clock to see that it was only 6:34, and I decided to get up, since clearly I wasn't getting anymore sleep- for the little I managed to catch.  
I walked into the bathroom and turned the hot water on almost as hot as it could go. I stood under the hot spray until it stared to cool off, then wrapped a towel around my waist before making my way back to my room. I quickly got dressed and greased back my hair before walking down the stairs. I looked into the living room to see that the old man was passed out on the couch, beer bottles tumbling across the floor around him.  
I rolled my eyes and headed outside, but stopped short when I was out on the porch. Sitting in the middle of the unmoved grass was a slightly rusty motorcycle.  
_The boss has a little gift for you. It's at your house- don't worry, I've seen it and it ain't nothin' bad._ I remembered David's words, and figured this was the gift. But why a motorcycle? To keep me from driving Mia around in the car? It made sense, since I could easily tell her something in the car and they wouldn't know I'd said anything. Well they could go screw themselves, I was taking my car.  
I walked over to it, and groaned. Sure they would. I kicked at the front deflated tire, walking around to see that all four had been slashed along with it. They weren't leaving me any choice in the matter.  
I walked over to the bike and inspected it; making sure there was nothing obviously wrong with it. As far as I could tell it was fine, and when I started it up, it rumbled to life. I had to smirk as I pushed it out of the grass and over the curb to the road. I'd thought about getting a bike when I started getting money for the stuff, but it'd slipped to the back of my mind as keeping Mia in the dark became my top priority.  
Dropping down onto the seat, I revved the engine a bit before taking off down the street. It felt different compared to the car, but the rush that flooded through me was amazing and I grinned as I made my way into town to the diner to get a cup of coffee.

I pulled up outside the diner and cut the engine and pulled the key out of the ignition before walking inside.  
"Hello, Tim." I nodded as Blake's older sister came up to the counter where I'd taken a seat on a stool.  
"Hey, Claire." I said.  
"What would you like?" She asked. The diner was practically empty, so she didn't have a notepad in her hand.  
"Coffee, dark." I said and she nodded before walking away, coming back a moment later with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Thanks." I watched the steam curl up from the cup for awhile until I figured it was cold off enough to drink.  
I chugged it down before dropping some money onto the counter and heading out the door. I had time to kill before I had to be anywhere, so I decided to take a ride around town for a little while.

XXX

It was going on 1 in the afternoon when I pulled up outside Buck's. I'd spent some time with the gang, showing off the new bike a bit. But now I needed to see Mia, since she'd seemed very distant when I'd dropped her off the night before.  
"What're you doing here, Shepard?" Buck asked as I walked through the door. I figured he knew something was up since Mia had probably come home frustrated often enough over the past few months.  
"I'm here to see Mia," I said. "I got something to show her." Before I knew what was happening, Buck had me pinned against the closest wall to the door, and was growling in my face.  
"Listen, Shepard." He snapped as I tried to get away from him. "I know you're up to something, and whatever it is, isn't any good. If you hurt her, you'll deal with me. You understand me?" I managed to nod, though he was cutting off my air supply with his arm against my neck.  
Buck let me go with a glare that was clearly meant to send daggers through me before he walked towards the stairs.  
A moment later, he came back down, mumbling that Mia was on her way down and disappeared into the kitchen.  
I rubbed at my neck, and waited for Mia to come down the stairs. When she did, the first thing I took in was her weak look; the red, bloodshot eyes, her slightly slumped over shoulders. For the first time, I realized she'd clearly been losing weight, since her shirt looked far looser then it had the last time I remembered paying attention to her. The thought nearly knocked me off balance; since when had anything else kept me with a girl? What the heck was going on with me?  
"Hey, Tim." Mia's voice was quiet as she walked over to me. "Buck said you had something to show me?" I nodded and took her hand, pulling her out the door. She stopped at the top step of the porch and starred down at the motor bike.  
"Is that yours?" She asked and I nodded as I walked down to stand by the bike, and she soon joined me, looking over every detail of the bike. "Wow, where did you get it?" I shrugged.  
"The guy who sold me your truck, he wanted to get rid of it since no one seemed to want it. So he gave me a cheap deal on it." I knew I was lying through my teeth to her, but I couldn't tell her who really gave me the bike.  
"Wow." She said again, and I saw a spark of excitement in her eyes, and I smirked.  
"Wanna go for a ride?" I asked, willingly to try anything to keep her looking even remotely happy.  
Her head snapped up.  
"What? Are you crazy?! You don't have helmets! This thing is a death trap! We could get killed!" But even as she ranted about everything that was wrong with it, I swung my leg over the bike and got on, her following my lead soon after. "I'm a real idiot." She said as I turned the bike on and took off out of the yard and down the street. She'd barely been holding onto my shirt when we started, but as soon as I picked up speed, she clasped her arms firmly around my waist.  
I grinned as the wind wiped across my face, and in the mirror attached to the bike, I saw Mia smiling as the wind pushed her hair back. She must have caught my eyes watching her, because she gave me a small smile and dropped her head onto my shoulder.  
"Eyes on the road there idiot." She said close enough to my ear that she didn't need to yell. I grinned as I turned my eyes back to the road, and we started through town.  
We cruised around for awhile, barely missing getting caught by the cops as we came down a flat stretch of road. But we finally ended up back at the Dingo for drinks and an early meal of fries and burgers out on a picnic table.  
"That was amazing." Mia said as she looked at the bike where it was leaning on it's kickstand beside the table. "I've always wanted to ride one, but I'd heard about the accidents and it freaked me out. How'd you learn to drive one so well?" I shrugged and bite into my burger.  
"An uncle of mine used to have one, and he took me out driving when I was little. Ma nearly had a heart attack when we'd been gone for a few hours." Mia laughed, and I was pleased to see her happy again. Even on our good days, she'd never been this happy.  
"A few guys I knew in New York used to have bikes." She said and her smile wilted away. "David was one of them." I raised an eyebrow, this being new information to me.  
"Really? How'd you know him anyway?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.  
"From a long chain of mistakes." She said and snatched up some fries. "He was in a couple of my classes when I went to school, and he was always getting me in trouble. Then after Dally and I dropped out, I didn't see him for awhile until one day he just showed up and asked me out on a date. He had been this skinny kid back in school; and Dally had called him a nerd for years. But he'd changed since then, and I accepted. We dated for a month or two before I heard the rumours start that he was sleeping with other girls- no I wasn't sleeping with him!" She must have seen the look on my face, cause she looked disgusted. "Gosh no! But anyway, I eventually found out that they were true and dumped him in front of a big group of his friends." I smirked; of course she'd make a scene over it. "That was the last time I'd ever seen him until yesterday. He skipped town soon after I sent him flying across the cement on his arse." She snickered and finished her meal. I quickly finished mine, and we were both left with our drinks.  
"Wanna drive the bike back home?" I asked her as we walked over to lean against it. Her eyes widened as she looked at it.  
"Are you kidding? I'd love to drive it! But I don't think I could do it." I chuckled at her lack of courage and sipped at my coke. That was when I saw the old- once blue, but now completely rusty- car sitting off on the other side of the parking lot. Though I couldn't see inside it, I knew David and Jessie were sitting inside watching us.  
Anger threatened to make its way onto my face, but I swallowed it down.  
I smirked at her as I leaned over and kissed her. She seemed shocked, just like she had the night before, but she relaxed and wrapped one arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her. I looked over at the car again, hoping they were watching, hoping they were regretting what they were going.  
"Tim?" I hadn't realized that Mia'd pulled away and rested her head down on my shoulder. My arm was wrapped around her waist, and I kept a tight hold on her. We were leaning back against the bike, and I didn't know how much weight it would take leaning against it. But I made no movement to get away from it.  
"Yea?" I asked and she moved her head to look at me. They were sparkling, but her face was serious.  
"No more fighting, please?" She begged, and the sparkled turned to a plead. I could still see the redness in them, and they still looked slightly bloodshot. I hadn't realized until now how much the last few months had taken their toll on her, and guilt crawled at the inside of my stomach.  
"OK, no more fighting." I said and leaned over for another quick kiss before she pulled away with a small smile.  
"Promise?" She asked and I nodded. "Does that mean I get to spend the night? Cause Buck is having a party tonight for some friends and I don't really feel like being there when they all get rowdy and loud." I smirked and nodded.  
"'Course you can stay." I said and almost added that she could stay as long as she wanted, but considering we were patching things up from all our fights, I didn't want to push her.  
Mia smiled a little more and I stood up.  
"Now you wanna drive or what?" The smile was back on her face, wide as ever, and she swung herself onto the bike before kicking up the kickstand.  
"Ready!" She said and I smirked before getting on behind her. "Now... How do you work this thing?" I chuckled and reached around her to show her how to start the bike up.  
When she had it figured out, she tore out of the parking lot and down the street. I turned my head around to see if they were following us, and sure enough, they'd started the car and were pulling out behind us. I smirked as I turned back around to keep watch over where Mia was going and how hard she was pushing the bike.  
At the rate we were going, they'd never catch us. I didn't mind; all I wanted was some time alone with her, not having people watching over our shoulders every second of the day.  
I wondered how much longer I'd be able to keep all this from her without breaking down.

_It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are  
What my dreams are made of  
Can't fall asleep, can't fall asleep  
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night  
As I dream of you  
I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love  
It could mean everything, everything to me  
I can't imagine being anywhere else  
They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me  
The way that we are  
It's the reason I stay  
As long as you're here with me  
I know we'll be Ok  
The way that we are  
It's the reason I stay  
As long as you're here with me  
I know I'll be Ok  
They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me_

XXX

Almost wasn't able to post this tonight. I've still got a few things to do for school tomorrow, but I needed a short break.

Reviews please!

~Stay Gold!


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